HOUSTON — In the run-up to Saturday’s heavyweight matchup, Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, took a quick break from trash talking late night host Jimmy Kimmel to play the expectations game.
“It may be the biggest crowd assembled to watch the least talent in the history of basketball,” Cruz joked to the Washington Examiner Friday night.
Humor aside, the Texas senator was 100 percent correct. What just over 4,000 turned out to see at Texas Western University was entertaining at best, and, at worst, forgettable basketball as Cruz defeated Kimmel, 11-9.
[Cruz: Kimmel basketball game to feature ‘the least talent in the history of’ the sport]
Despite being faced with a pro-Kimmel crowd in his own backyard, Cruz withstood a fury of buckets from the ABC host in the closing minutes to take home the prize and eternal bragging rights.
“In a heartbeat,” Cruz said when asked if he would play the game again. “Although, we did promise ESPN for the sake of basketball — never again.”
While highlights were far and few between, Cruz sealed the game by taking an offensive rebound back out to the right wing and heaving a one-handed shot that somehow found the bottom of the net, leaving both the crowd and his team with mouths agape.
“Miracles do happen,” said Lynden Rose, Cruz’s coach and the one-time captain of the University of Houston’s famed Phi Slama Jamma basketball team.
Cruz was mobbed by his family and supporters after sinking the walk-off bucket, not unlike Rocky Balboa during his defeat of Apollo Creed in Rocky II. Ironically, Cruz invoked Balboa’s call for people to come together in Rocky IV while celebrating his victory.
Throughout, though, the two participants repeatedly couldn’t help but poke at the hilarity of the situation. At one point, Cruz apologized to the game of basketball for the display on the court. Kimmel, meanwhile jokingly asked two individuals in the stands if they wanted to finish the game for them and wondered while Cruz led 5-4 if they should have played to four points rather than 15.
They ultimately decided to play to 11 “in the spirit of bipartisanship.”
“You’re a good sport,” Kimmel told Cruz during the post-game ceremony. “I still think you’re a terrible senator.”
At least the dismal play went too a good cause. The dynamic-less duo raised nearly $80,000 for charity, with Kimmel playing on behalf of the Texas Children’s Hospital and Cruz for Generation One, Texas Charities.
Throughout the past week, Cruz prepared for the game with an eye on the prize. Favored by the oddsmakers in Las Vegas, Cruz enlisted help in the days prior, including meeting up with former Duke standout Grayson Allen in San Antonio, where he spent Friday for the Texas GOP convention.
He also was coached by Rose, who wasn’t quite sure what he was getting himself into when he agreed to help the senator prepare. When asked of his first impression of the Texas Republican’s hoops game, Rose let a out a big sigh.
“We’re not going to get to five,” he said.
The game was mired with wild shots, with Cruz and Kimmel each throwing up a number of bricks and airballs on similar shots throughout. Cruz, would dribble from the top of the key after taking possession and maneuver toward the right baseline before tossing up a wild shot. For Kimmel, he played back-to-the-basket primarily and tossed up a myriad of wayward right-hand hook shots that rarely found the bottom of the net.
Thankfully, for both parties, no one kept field goal percentage.
“You didn’t keep track of that, did you?” asked a quizzical Ralph Sampson after the game while standing in a pile of confetti. Sampson, a former Houston Rockets star and University of Virginia standout, coached Kimmel’s team.
With ABC running the production show in Southeast Houston, they made a number of jokes at Cruz’s expense. After singing the Star Spangled Banner in the pregame, the PA announcer asked the crowd to remain standing for O Canada, the anthem of “the senator’s heritage.” Cruz played along, holding a hockey stick and a bottle of Canadian beer during the anthem.
With the game in the rearview mirror, Cruz is set to return to the Senate on Monday. Like his politics, Cruz had much more success on the court going right instead of left and let slip that wasn’t an accident.
“Does that surprise you?” he said.
