Matt C. Abbott
A letter from a victim of nun abuse
By Matt C. Abbott
I received the following e-mail letter from Mary Dunford of Eagan, Minn.
"Dear Mr. Abbott,
"You published one of my letters June 14, 2004. In it I explained that I was the victim of sexual abuse by an Ursuline [nun] at a boarding school in southern Minnesota run by the Ursulines. It is now an ecumenical retreat center run by the same order.
"I told you that the bishops, notably Archbishop Flynn, refuse to take any responsibility for the other church leaders besides priests who have sexually abused children, teens, and vulnerable adults. Those others are Catholic nuns, youth leaders, lay ministers, paid lay employees, volunteers. Understanding that nuns are autonomous, answerable only to themselves and the Pope, isn't it time we demand that all victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse by Catholic Church leaders be given a voice?
"Let's confront the whole of the problem and offer justice and healing to all these persons and their loved ones who suffer daily in marginal lives which are always less. Less fulfillment. Less health. Less joy. Less opportunity. Less everything. Less than the promise and potential that was present in each of these persons before they were ravaged. Less than what other unabused persons may enjoy.
"As an update: the LCWR (Leadership Conference of Women Religious) refused to allow male and female victims of abuse by nuns to speak for one half hour of their four days' conference in Fort Worth in August. This organization has leader-members from 400 religious orders of women, representing 76,000 nuns. The conference theme was a response to the violence around the world. This did not include the violence perpetrated by members of the orders in their own 'backyards' apparently.
"The leadership of the LCWR did finally meet with representatives of victims of abuse by nuns in October in Chicago. At this meeting there was a request to speak before the next year's conference and to enlist some very simple proposals which these folks made which would be the genesis of LCWR reaching out in justice and healing to victims and their families. After a month's wait, these simple baby steps were not adopted.
"Sister Juliana Miska of the Sisters of Christian Charity, and a member of the justice branch of the LCWR, visited with us in our home in mid-November. She was recently returned from fourteen years in Rome where she worked at achieving the rights of women religious. We attempted to bring her abreast of the Catholic abuse picture here in the U.S. and to enlist her as an ally.
"I thought she was listened well and was sympathetic. While with us she made the comment that there was no way victims of sexual abuse by nuns could have been allowed to talk at the LCWR conference. Indeed, she explained, even nuns who are not leaders of orders cannot bring up issues they may have. Only leaders can speak. We opined that rules which are 'man' made and not effectively carrying out the rule of Christ are not honorable rules. Like the bishops' refusal to concern themselves about abuse by nuns 'because they are not under the bishops' authority." These are our shepherds. Any rules which prevent God's love and healing are bad rules. Change them and get back on course.
"Sister Juliana's email to us after she returned to Chicago, her base, clearly showed she did not carry an understanding of the need for seeking out victims and providing them with justice and healing. If Christ refused to meet with us and listen to our heart's concerns where would we be? Her email was very generic, full of platitudes and promises of prayer. We don't need her prayers, rather, we need restorative justice, honesty, and opportunities for healing.
"Perhaps Sister Juliana can orient herself now that she is back in America and lose the mindset of seeking the rights of nuns and, instead seek the rights of victims of sexual abuse by nuns.
"From the beginning the emphasis has never been on justice and healing for victims. The Church leadership runs from the victims and hides beneath and behind elaborately constructed denials, losses of documentation, law machinations, lies, personnel shifts, attacks on the credibility of victims, self audits, and unenforceable charters. Prevention is important. At best we have the appearance of a system of prevention in place. When we have the same leaders who don't care about victims, or honest reform, or the thoughts and needs of the laity there will be continuing offenses because the whole culture of the hierarchy is corrupt. And there are no consequences for non-compliance.
"October 9 and 10 of this year, the Minnesota Council of Churches Committee to End Sexual Misconduct within the Religious Community, with funding from the Presbytery of the Twin Cities Area, the Minnesota Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church and the Archdiocese of Saint Paul and Minneapolis, put on a healing, informational, and formative weekend. Presbyterian, Lutheran, Methodist, and other denomination ministers attended as did some victims. Though they had been invited, no Catholic priests attended. Neither did the archbishop. Of course if they had, then there would have been this uncomfortable situation where the priests cannot concelebrate and consecrate the Eucharist, much less share Christ, with those ministers of other faiths. Very embarrassing.
"My husband and I helped a Presbyterian minister, Gale Robb, and a Methodist minister, Elizabeth MacCauley write the healing portion of the Sunday service. Their sensitivity to our Catholic make up and our embarrassment at there being no Catholic ministers participating, and their deep desire to share with Catholic brothers and sisters was so countermand to Catholic church teaching on Eucharist and ecumenism.
"Archbishop Flynn beginning his 'ad limina' meeting with the Pope this week was featured in a front page article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press last week. Excerpts from his 'missive' report to the Pope were included in the article. The Archbishop proclaimed his commitment to ecumenism. Neither his commitment to ecumenism or to sexual abuse victims of the Catholic Church was visible in his non-response to the ecumenical weekend for better understanding clergy sexual abuse and presenting opportunities for the healing of its victims.
"Now the Archdiocese is holding an interfaith conference Jan. 20th., 2005 on Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Helping Survivors and Communities to Heal. This is intended for the therapeutic community and religious professionals. The sponsoring groups are all Catholic, although some speakers are from other faiths.
"There is a victim/survivor/offender panel whose names are not available to us in the survivor community or those who wish to support them, such as SNAP, VOTF, and Call to Accountability, a Mary, Mother of the Church organization of laity....
"I believe that the Catholic Church needs to consider abortion less of the 'reprehensible practice' which Archbishop Flynn mentions in his letter to the Pope mentioned earlier and, rather, one of the 'reprehensible practice'(s) which need to be engaged and eliminated. The laity indeed need to have constantly before their eyes the sanctity of life. So too, and very especially, does the hierarchy need to see the 'killing' of children, teens, and vulnerable adults by wanton acts of sexual abuse and abandonment of reponsibility for healing and justice for victims and their families, at least as reprehensible and death dealing as the slaughter of the unborns.
"The difference is that the victims of sexual abuse by Church priests, nuns, youth leaders, etc. must go on living in unending pain. (Unless, of course, they kill themselves as far too many have done.) This kind of marginal living is reinforced by the refusal of most of the hierarchy and heads of religious orders to recognize that sexual abuse and cover-up is every bit as death dealing and wrong as killing persons before birth.
"Can the Church hierarchy apply the standards of Christ to all their every day encounters, activities, and responsibilities before the Church implodes with the disparity between Christ and Catholicism?"
Mary Dunford can be reached at danjdun@aol.com.
© Matt C. Abbott
I received the following e-mail letter from Mary Dunford of Eagan, Minn.
"Dear Mr. Abbott,
"You published one of my letters June 14, 2004. In it I explained that I was the victim of sexual abuse by an Ursuline [nun] at a boarding school in southern Minnesota run by the Ursulines. It is now an ecumenical retreat center run by the same order.
"I told you that the bishops, notably Archbishop Flynn, refuse to take any responsibility for the other church leaders besides priests who have sexually abused children, teens, and vulnerable adults. Those others are Catholic nuns, youth leaders, lay ministers, paid lay employees, volunteers. Understanding that nuns are autonomous, answerable only to themselves and the Pope, isn't it time we demand that all victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse by Catholic Church leaders be given a voice?
"Let's confront the whole of the problem and offer justice and healing to all these persons and their loved ones who suffer daily in marginal lives which are always less. Less fulfillment. Less health. Less joy. Less opportunity. Less everything. Less than the promise and potential that was present in each of these persons before they were ravaged. Less than what other unabused persons may enjoy.
"As an update: the LCWR (Leadership Conference of Women Religious) refused to allow male and female victims of abuse by nuns to speak for one half hour of their four days' conference in Fort Worth in August. This organization has leader-members from 400 religious orders of women, representing 76,000 nuns. The conference theme was a response to the violence around the world. This did not include the violence perpetrated by members of the orders in their own 'backyards' apparently.
"The leadership of the LCWR did finally meet with representatives of victims of abuse by nuns in October in Chicago. At this meeting there was a request to speak before the next year's conference and to enlist some very simple proposals which these folks made which would be the genesis of LCWR reaching out in justice and healing to victims and their families. After a month's wait, these simple baby steps were not adopted.
"Sister Juliana Miska of the Sisters of Christian Charity, and a member of the justice branch of the LCWR, visited with us in our home in mid-November. She was recently returned from fourteen years in Rome where she worked at achieving the rights of women religious. We attempted to bring her abreast of the Catholic abuse picture here in the U.S. and to enlist her as an ally.
"I thought she was listened well and was sympathetic. While with us she made the comment that there was no way victims of sexual abuse by nuns could have been allowed to talk at the LCWR conference. Indeed, she explained, even nuns who are not leaders of orders cannot bring up issues they may have. Only leaders can speak. We opined that rules which are 'man' made and not effectively carrying out the rule of Christ are not honorable rules. Like the bishops' refusal to concern themselves about abuse by nuns 'because they are not under the bishops' authority." These are our shepherds. Any rules which prevent God's love and healing are bad rules. Change them and get back on course.
"Sister Juliana's email to us after she returned to Chicago, her base, clearly showed she did not carry an understanding of the need for seeking out victims and providing them with justice and healing. If Christ refused to meet with us and listen to our heart's concerns where would we be? Her email was very generic, full of platitudes and promises of prayer. We don't need her prayers, rather, we need restorative justice, honesty, and opportunities for healing.
"Perhaps Sister Juliana can orient herself now that she is back in America and lose the mindset of seeking the rights of nuns and, instead seek the rights of victims of sexual abuse by nuns.
"From the beginning the emphasis has never been on justice and healing for victims. The Church leadership runs from the victims and hides beneath and behind elaborately constructed denials, losses of documentation, law machinations, lies, personnel shifts, attacks on the credibility of victims, self audits, and unenforceable charters. Prevention is important. At best we have the appearance of a system of prevention in place. When we have the same leaders who don't care about victims, or honest reform, or the thoughts and needs of the laity there will be continuing offenses because the whole culture of the hierarchy is corrupt. And there are no consequences for non-compliance.
"October 9 and 10 of this year, the Minnesota Council of Churches Committee to End Sexual Misconduct within the Religious Community, with funding from the Presbytery of the Twin Cities Area, the Minnesota Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church and the Archdiocese of Saint Paul and Minneapolis, put on a healing, informational, and formative weekend. Presbyterian, Lutheran, Methodist, and other denomination ministers attended as did some victims. Though they had been invited, no Catholic priests attended. Neither did the archbishop. Of course if they had, then there would have been this uncomfortable situation where the priests cannot concelebrate and consecrate the Eucharist, much less share Christ, with those ministers of other faiths. Very embarrassing.
"My husband and I helped a Presbyterian minister, Gale Robb, and a Methodist minister, Elizabeth MacCauley write the healing portion of the Sunday service. Their sensitivity to our Catholic make up and our embarrassment at there being no Catholic ministers participating, and their deep desire to share with Catholic brothers and sisters was so countermand to Catholic church teaching on Eucharist and ecumenism.
"Archbishop Flynn beginning his 'ad limina' meeting with the Pope this week was featured in a front page article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press last week. Excerpts from his 'missive' report to the Pope were included in the article. The Archbishop proclaimed his commitment to ecumenism. Neither his commitment to ecumenism or to sexual abuse victims of the Catholic Church was visible in his non-response to the ecumenical weekend for better understanding clergy sexual abuse and presenting opportunities for the healing of its victims.
"Now the Archdiocese is holding an interfaith conference Jan. 20th., 2005 on Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Helping Survivors and Communities to Heal. This is intended for the therapeutic community and religious professionals. The sponsoring groups are all Catholic, although some speakers are from other faiths.
"There is a victim/survivor/offender panel whose names are not available to us in the survivor community or those who wish to support them, such as SNAP, VOTF, and Call to Accountability, a Mary, Mother of the Church organization of laity....
"I believe that the Catholic Church needs to consider abortion less of the 'reprehensible practice' which Archbishop Flynn mentions in his letter to the Pope mentioned earlier and, rather, one of the 'reprehensible practice'(s) which need to be engaged and eliminated. The laity indeed need to have constantly before their eyes the sanctity of life. So too, and very especially, does the hierarchy need to see the 'killing' of children, teens, and vulnerable adults by wanton acts of sexual abuse and abandonment of reponsibility for healing and justice for victims and their families, at least as reprehensible and death dealing as the slaughter of the unborns.
"The difference is that the victims of sexual abuse by Church priests, nuns, youth leaders, etc. must go on living in unending pain. (Unless, of course, they kill themselves as far too many have done.) This kind of marginal living is reinforced by the refusal of most of the hierarchy and heads of religious orders to recognize that sexual abuse and cover-up is every bit as death dealing and wrong as killing persons before birth.
"Can the Church hierarchy apply the standards of Christ to all their every day encounters, activities, and responsibilities before the Church implodes with the disparity between Christ and Catholicism?"
Mary Dunford can be reached at danjdun@aol.com.
© Matt C. Abbott
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