Matt C. Abbott
Catholics voice their views on modesty in dress
By Matt C. Abbott
Very recently, on a Catholic e-mail list to which I belong, a discussion began regarding modesty in dress.
I thought it would make for an interesting column, so I asked readers to give me their views on the subject.
The following are some responses I received:
From Craig Walterscheid, of California:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/remnant/casual.htm
http://www.catholicexchange.com/node/59163
http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/2004/0404fea3.asp
© Matt C. Abbott
Very recently, on a Catholic e-mail list to which I belong, a discussion began regarding modesty in dress.
I thought it would make for an interesting column, so I asked readers to give me their views on the subject.
The following are some responses I received:
From Craig Walterscheid, of California:
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I would say that if one is attending the New Mass, the same dress one might wear for going golfing or to a picnic would be okay, since that is sort of the atmosphere: fun, folksy, lots of hugs and kisses. If one is attending the Old Mass, or an Eastern Rite Mass, then if you don't already understand that the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is the re-presentation of the Sacrifice of Calvary, try to understand it, and dress accordingly. The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is a far more formal affair than anybody's wedding. How did you dress for your sibling's, friend's, co-worker's wedding?
I personally apply this to Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation Masses. Opinions differ on daily Mass attire, but I'm at least humble and open to admit error in my policy towards daily Mass attire. I'd appreciate any priest's comments on this. (I work third-shift, and when I am able to attend the Armenian Rite Mass a couple miles away from the slaughterhouse at which I work, I do not don a suit.)
We might want to step out of the U.S. and confer with the other 95 percent of the Catholic population. Case in point: In 2002, I visited a friend in southern Mexico. While driving one Sunday through the mountains of Chiapas, we drove past a line of women and children superbly dressed in bright, beautiful native dress. I asked who they were. My friend's response: 'Chiapatecas llendo a Misa' — Native Chiapa Indian women going to Mass. These women don't have money; in fact, they don't have a car in which to drive. But when they go to Mass on Sunday, they are dressed to the hilt! I was flabbergasted! I saw no men (they probably walk separate from the women). I doubt they own three-piece suits, but I'm sure they put on whatever is considered dressy-dress in their culture. Also, I never saw any Chiapatecas, even young girls, at the different places we stopped, wearing pants.
A year or so ago, I received the annual report from a charity I was involved with when I worked in the bottled water industry (I now work in the pork-packing industry) called Water For People. The report was replete with photos from third-world countries in which they assist. With just a couple of exceptions from Asia, I saw no women in pants. It showed women working (i.e. the daily grind of hauling water in a third-world country). The little black girls in poor areas of Africa are sweeter and cuter-looking in their bright dresses (Western, not native) than the local 'traditional' Catholic girl who, except for Sunday Tridentine Mass, wears 'painted-on' jeans.
May Pat Buchanan's hope come true: that Dressing with Dignity [by Colleen Hammond] sells a million copies.
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I consider myself a traditional Catholic. I have read Ms. Hammond's book Dressing with Dignity. While she does have some worthwhile contributions, she fails abysmally in several key aspects. First, there is the issue of the 'my way or the highway' approach she takes when postulating her ideas of appropriate dress, an attitude that is not acceptable for a mere layperson. It causes me to cringe when I see/hear her quoted and cited as though she were an infallible source of knowledge on the topic. Second, she does a gross disservice to men when she neglects to challenge them to maintain their own dignity (without regard to women) by proper dress. As far as standards go, I am a person who believes 'What's good for the goose is good for the gander.' Let's flush the double-standards down the toilet where they belong; I'm very serious about that!
My ideas (which are open to debate; I don't entertain the illusion that my words are beyond question) on general attire: Shirts/blouses should not be tight-fitting. They should descend well below the waist and the shirt-tails should be tucked in — to avoid slovenly appearance. They should cover most of the neck. The sleeves, for both genders, should come down at least half-way between shoulder and elbow. Nothing sleeveless is acceptable for either gender. Men, keep them on at all times. So what if it's hot? If the women can do it, so can you. I look askance about this business of slacks being inherently evil for women. Remember that at one time slacks were unheard of for anyone. We need to remember that modest attire and 'Ozzie and Harriett fashions' are not necessarily equivalent.
In general, clothes should be loose-fitting, but well-fitting. While we don't want clingy clothes, the '5-sizes-too-baggy' style many young men wear is an affront to Christian dignity. They should be clean and in good repair.
Mass attire: It should be different from attire during the week. Remember the concept of 'Sunday-best?' Men: suits, ties, dress shirts and dress shoes at all times. Keep the jackets on. Ladies, dresses/skirts no shorter than below the knee; do not wear denim skirts. Wear hose, no bare legs. Wear closed-toe dress shoes — no sandals. Blouses should be formal and modest. With this being said, it should go without saying that there will be no denim, no tee-shirts or polo shirts, no turtle-necks, no sneakers, no flip-flops, no shorts.
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I am one of those rare women who likes to dress like a girl! By that I mean I almost always wear dresses or a skirt or a jumper. I am a Third Order religious, and it is asked of us to dress how Our Lady would dress. The hemline is long, and it is extremely rare for me to wear slacks to Mass. I am feminine.
When I taught religion to middle-schoolers, I would teach them about the virtue of modesty and would mention that when women and girls dress for Mass in what might pass for a nightgown, it is most inconsiderate to others. I remember one dear little girl raising her hand and saying, 'But, Mrs. O'Brien, have you seen what they sell in the stores!' Indeed, it is difficult to dress modest when one follows fashion. It takes some doing. I actually get most of my things second-hand, but I have a good eye for quality.
Often I am the only woman in a dress in most situations. At Mass, there is one other lady who always wears a dress as well. She and I are the only ones. There is one Sister who wears a skirt out of about 15 or so in town. As for the others, I have never seen most of them in feminine attire, although they do have jewelry with their slacks.
Modesty is a virtue and it is sadly lacking in our society.
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This is an excerpt of a letter I sent to our dear pastor just last summer about this very issue:
'...And last but not least is the issue of modesty in dress at Mass. I have to say that I am so sick and tired of being visually assaulted by [immodestly dressed individuals]. The latest assault came from a member of the 5:00 choir, standing up on the altar where there was no escape from her camisole top, bare shoulders, and cleavage. (And another good reason for moving the choir to the choir loft, but that's for a different discussion! Ha!) I am truly concerned for the welfare of these young, and not so young, women who do not seem to understand what they are doing or the consequences thereof, both to themselves and others.
'I am more concerned, frankly, for the welfare of my husband and sons. It is simply not right for them to come to church and have various stretches of flesh to negotiate. It violates them. It is a source of temptation and a near occasion of sin. I know this is not a perfect world, and there will always be situations and circumstances to navigate, but if there can be an announcement at the beginning of every Mass reminding people to turn off their cell phones and pagers because it's a distraction, how much more important is it to preach from the pulpit the importance of the virtue of modesty! Please, help to educate both women and men, help them to understand their intrinsic worth and value, and help them to become aware of the consequences of their actions on themselves and others!
'Sometimes fathers need specific instruction and encouragement as how to protect their daughters from current immodest fashion. So many men have been cowed by feminist thought and do not say what they need to say as heads of households. We women need real men in our lives! Men who will stand strong and protect us — even from ourselves. As you said so aptly in your homily yesterday, God's Word is not always received warmly, but it is Truth and it is always for our own good. Help us to know, specifically, how and why modesty is good for us....Thank you for shepherding us with love!'
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/remnant/casual.htm
http://www.catholicexchange.com/node/59163
http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/2004/0404fea3.asp
© Matt C. Abbott
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