Dennis Campbell
January 16, 2008
Another loony theory from the wonderland of evolution
By Dennis Campbell

Proponents of evolution remind me of the slightly dumb class clown who thinks people are laughing with him, while all the time they are snickering as he makes a goofy spectacle of himself.

Since they hold a materialist view of the world, evolutionists must have a materialist answer for everything from lust to love. It quickly reaches absurdity.

For example, why are men at least some men attracted to women with slim waists and flaring hips? Well, because it indicates the ability to pop out babies. Preservation of the species, you know. Of course, that fails to explain why some prefer the emaciated runway model look.

Examples of this foolishness are endless. But recently, a theory to explain why the majority of the public rejects the theory of evolution exceeds any previous preposterousness by an order of magnitude.

Writing for TCS Daily (, Lee Harris comes to this conclusion: The unenlightened masses that find evolution an impossible pill to swallow reject it because apes and gorillas are loathsome to most people.

Yes, we just cannot abide the thought that our forebears were ugly, grunting, grub-eating hominids pooping in public and picking lice off one another.

Harris says the rejection of Darwinian babbling has nothing to do with the Bible and its story of creation. He writes: "The stumbling block to an acceptance of Darwin, I would like to submit, has little to do with Christian fundamentalism, but a whole lot to do with our intense visceral revulsion at monkeys and apes. This revulsion, while certainly not universal, is widely shared, and it is a psychological phenomenon that is completely independent of our ideas about the literal truth of the Bible."

Furthermore, says Harris, "This visceral revulsion against monkeys explains why so many people prefer to hold on to the far more flattering mythology of man's creation as it was presented in Genesis. It is not Genesis that turns them against Darwin; it is Darwin that makes them turn to Genesis."

Is that so? Well, here is an alternative theory: People reject evolution because it fundamentally is an illogical make that irrational concept.

We are to believe that billions of years ago in the great nothingness the Big Bang spewed out an incomprehensibly large volume of matter. Somehow, the laws of nature just happened. Some matter became stars. Some, planets.

Frankly, I am more inclined to believe in the Tooth Fairy. I would rather sandpaper a bobcat's butt in a phone booth than completely jettison rational thinking, which is what the cosmic leap of faith necessary to believe this fairy tale requires.

But it gets more absurd. After the requisite billions of years passed, a truly remarkable thing happened: A microscopic cell popped into existence. What caused it? Oh, just the random interplay of electricity and various chemicals, akin to the first microchip sprouting under a mushroom in Silicon Valley.

Not only did this cell survive, but it also managed to thrive. Somehow, it got nourishment from its soupy, primordial environment, and then it "learned" how to multiply. How long did that take? A second? An hour? A million years? The latter seems improbable, because even the longest-lived creatures on Planet Earth live a few hundred years, at best.

So, it must have been that this brand-new life almost immediately learned to multiply. Then, it "adapted" to its surroundings.

Then...well, the story just gets loonier and loonier. To believe it one must function at a high order of gullibility.

Here are the facts: Human DNA is enormously complex, with 20,000 to 25,000 genes and three billion chemical base pairs. A cell is a veritable factory, with individual components performing myriad complex tasks.

DNA is computer code far more complex than anything mankind has developed. A computer program requires a programmer, and to conclude that what we see in life and the cosmos was designed, and thus requires a designer, is perfectly logical. This is what Intelligent Design postulates. ID is not creationism, that is, literally interpreting the Genesis creation account, as is dishonestly maintained by evolutionists.

What is not logical is to say that perfect order came unaided from utter chaos. What is clear is that evolution is little more than a poor attempt to justify the rejection of God.

My rejection of evolution has everything to do with rational thinking and nothing to do with my supposed revulsion for apes and monkeys. In fact, I find chimpanzees and their cousins immensely amusing almost as amusing as people like Lee Harris and his sublimely preposterous theory.

© Dennis Campbell


The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of RenewAmerica or its affiliates.
(See RenewAmerica's publishing standards.)