Curtis Dahlgren
Raising horizons or harassing Gramma? [the vetting of Sarah]
By Curtis Dahlgren
"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper."— Francis Bacon (1561-1626)
"The trouble with our age is all signpost and no destination." — Louis Kronenberger
"The country life is to be preferred, for there we see the works of God, but in cities little else but the works of men." — William Penn (1644-1718)
"What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick." — Sarah Palin
A CITY KID NAMED DIDDY HAS A COMPLAINT ABOUT THE VP PICK: "There ain't even no crackheads in Alaska." Laura Ingraham says that the door is opening to the Cantina scene from Star Wars, meaning that the dominant people on the inside of the Democratic party are "revealing themselves for what they are." AND THEY AIN'T US!
With another city kid running for Savior of the World, it's time to repost my March 8, 2008 column ("Finding True North without an Interstate highway sign), and make a proclamation: YOU AIN'T DONE NOTHIN' YET.
Dear Gen XYZers:
I'm an old geezer. You probably feel sorry for us guys and hope we just "move along" so we don't hog all the Social Security money you need for your "disabilities" (due to addictions). As for drugs, you've probably done 'em all, but we're sick and tired of paying for your drugs when we can't afford our own! "And besides that":
YOU THINK YOU'VE JUST ABOUT DONE IT ALL? Ha! I feel "sorry" for you!
If you think that crap music is awesome, but you've never heard the corn grow, or total silence - I'm sorry about that, but you ain't heard "nothin'" yet!
If you think that shooting up is "awesome," but you've never smelled the approach of a much-needed thunderstorm still over the horizon, you ain't done nothin' yet.
If you think that snorting stuff is awesome, but you've never experienced the smell of newmown hay, sorry about that; you haven't done zilch!
If you think that Hollywood skin flicks are awesome, but you've never seen a pair of bald eagles swooping across the water one foot above the river, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
If you think that a Hollywood seduction scene is awesome, but you've never seen a female wolf trying to lure your own dog across the river and into the woods, you ain't seen squat!
If you think that Hollywood premiers or the Oscars are exciting, but you've never helped deliver a newborn calf, you ain't done nothin' yet.
If you think that illegal drugs are awesome, but you've never tasted home-made maple syrup or the sweet part of a clover blossom, I'm very sorry about that!
If you think that getting 'high' is awesome, but you've never climbed to the top of a 14,000-foot mountain, you ain't done nothin'! . . .
If you think that "hip-hop" is what's happening, but you've never seen badgers in the wild, or never watched otters running on the river and belly-flopping on the ice, sorry for you!
If you think "cruising chicks" is cool, but you've never been driving down the road and seen a bald eagle chasing a mallard duck in mid-air (and rescued the duck by distracting them), you ain't seen anything "cool"!
You think she thinks you're so COOL, but if you've never found a bear den, never seen a 60-inch muskie, never pullled a rattlesnake out of the ground with your bare hands, nor shined a flashlight into a bear's eyes, I'm not impressed.
If you think that a teen-aged "score" is great, but you never hit a pinch-hit triple in a real hardball game, you ain't done nothing, Jack!
If you think Las Vegas and San Francisco are awesome, but you've never seen Niagara Falls or the world's largest tree, you ain't seen nothing!.
If you think the city life is "what's up," but you've never looked up at the sky and seen stars so dazzling that you almost got whiplash, you ain't seen nothin' yet!
If you think that cell phones are awesome, but you've never been lost in the Northwoods where cell phones don't work, nor compasses (because of the iron in the ground), and got a glimpse of the sun through the clouds just long enough to know True North, you ain't done anything at all!
If you think that Manhattan and Chicago are awesome, but you've never known anyone from Manhattan, Kansas (or anywhere in Kansas), you don't know the first thing.
You think you're so blasted COOL, but if you've never gotten around to knowing your Creator, dittoes that!
I've been there, done that, all of those things! I may be part hick and part jock, but I'll tell you one thing: I graduated from high school, and if you ain't even done that, what have you really "DONE" yet? To use the correct word this time, you haven't done much of anything at all, so what makes you think that Youth "rules"?
By the way — I hate to tell you, but — Youth doesn't "rule." The Law of Nature rules! The day I got lost in northern Minnesota, I was really, really "lost" — and I believe quite factually that the God of Nature and my forefathers opened up the sky for three seconds or so, just enough to enable me to find True North, and get to a road by dead reckoning. Otherwise, I would have had to spent a very cold night out in the national forest. Incidentally, the reason I got lost was my own fault — for "doing something stupid" (I didn't mark the trail I came in on, which would have allowed me to retrace my footsteps). For those who hate history, there might be a lesson in there for you someplace. America needs to retrace her footsteps, "Back to the Bible." As someone once said:
"God forgives; man sometimes forgives; Nature never forgives!"
America, BLESS GOD.
Yours truly,
The Old Man
P.S. Abraham Lincoln said, "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can not fool all the people all of the time."
The old dead-tree journalists and CNN beauties may think they're fooling a lot of people, but as they say out here in the sticks, "My momma didn't raise no fools."
PPS: Rest in peace, Jerry Reed.
[BY THE WAY — Honest Abe made that famous comment at CLINTON, Illinois. Maybe there's a reason there's a woman on the GOP ticket and not the Democratic ticket.]
© Curtis Dahlgren
"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper."
"The trouble with our age is all signpost and no destination." — Louis Kronenberger
"The country life is to be preferred, for there we see the works of God, but in cities little else but the works of men." — William Penn (1644-1718)
"What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick." — Sarah Palin
A CITY KID NAMED DIDDY HAS A COMPLAINT ABOUT THE VP PICK: "There ain't even no crackheads in Alaska." Laura Ingraham says that the door is opening to the Cantina scene from Star Wars, meaning that the dominant people on the inside of the Democratic party are "revealing themselves for what they are." AND THEY AIN'T US!
With another city kid running for Savior of the World, it's time to repost my March 8, 2008 column ("Finding True North without an Interstate highway sign), and make a proclamation: YOU AIN'T DONE NOTHIN' YET.
Dear Gen XYZers:
I'm an old geezer. You probably feel sorry for us guys and hope we just "move along" so we don't hog all the Social Security money you need for your "disabilities" (due to addictions). As for drugs, you've probably done 'em all, but we're sick and tired of paying for your drugs when we can't afford our own! "And besides that":
YOU THINK YOU'VE JUST ABOUT DONE IT ALL? Ha! I feel "sorry" for you!
If you think that crap music is awesome, but you've never heard the corn grow, or total silence - I'm sorry about that, but you ain't heard "nothin'" yet!
If you think that shooting up is "awesome," but you've never smelled the approach of a much-needed thunderstorm still over the horizon, you ain't done nothin' yet.
If you think that snorting stuff is awesome, but you've never experienced the smell of newmown hay, sorry about that; you haven't done zilch!
If you think that Hollywood skin flicks are awesome, but you've never seen a pair of bald eagles swooping across the water one foot above the river, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
If you think that a Hollywood seduction scene is awesome, but you've never seen a female wolf trying to lure your own dog across the river and into the woods, you ain't seen squat!
If you think that Hollywood premiers or the Oscars are exciting, but you've never helped deliver a newborn calf, you ain't done nothin' yet.
If you think that illegal drugs are awesome, but you've never tasted home-made maple syrup or the sweet part of a clover blossom, I'm very sorry about that!
If you think that getting 'high' is awesome, but you've never climbed to the top of a 14,000-foot mountain, you ain't done nothin'! . . .
If you think that "hip-hop" is what's happening, but you've never seen badgers in the wild, or never watched otters running on the river and belly-flopping on the ice, sorry for you!
If you think "cruising chicks" is cool, but you've never been driving down the road and seen a bald eagle chasing a mallard duck in mid-air (and rescued the duck by distracting them), you ain't seen anything "cool"!
You think she thinks you're so COOL, but if you've never found a bear den, never seen a 60-inch muskie, never pullled a rattlesnake out of the ground with your bare hands, nor shined a flashlight into a bear's eyes, I'm not impressed.
If you think that a teen-aged "score" is great, but you never hit a pinch-hit triple in a real hardball game, you ain't done nothing, Jack!
If you think Las Vegas and San Francisco are awesome, but you've never seen Niagara Falls or the world's largest tree, you ain't seen nothing!.
If you think the city life is "what's up," but you've never looked up at the sky and seen stars so dazzling that you almost got whiplash, you ain't seen nothin' yet!
If you think that cell phones are awesome, but you've never been lost in the Northwoods where cell phones don't work, nor compasses (because of the iron in the ground), and got a glimpse of the sun through the clouds just long enough to know True North, you ain't done anything at all!
If you think that Manhattan and Chicago are awesome, but you've never known anyone from Manhattan, Kansas (or anywhere in Kansas), you don't know the first thing.
You think you're so blasted COOL, but if you've never gotten around to knowing your Creator, dittoes that!
I've been there, done that, all of those things! I may be part hick and part jock, but I'll tell you one thing: I graduated from high school, and if you ain't even done that, what have you really "DONE" yet? To use the correct word this time, you haven't done much of anything at all, so what makes you think that Youth "rules"?
By the way — I hate to tell you, but — Youth doesn't "rule." The Law of Nature rules! The day I got lost in northern Minnesota, I was really, really "lost" — and I believe quite factually that the God of Nature and my forefathers opened up the sky for three seconds or so, just enough to enable me to find True North, and get to a road by dead reckoning. Otherwise, I would have had to spent a very cold night out in the national forest. Incidentally, the reason I got lost was my own fault — for "doing something stupid" (I didn't mark the trail I came in on, which would have allowed me to retrace my footsteps). For those who hate history, there might be a lesson in there for you someplace. America needs to retrace her footsteps, "Back to the Bible." As someone once said:
"God forgives; man sometimes forgives; Nature never forgives!"
America, BLESS GOD.
Yours truly,
The Old Man
P.S. Abraham Lincoln said, "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can not fool all the people all of the time."
The old dead-tree journalists and CNN beauties may think they're fooling a lot of people, but as they say out here in the sticks, "My momma didn't raise no fools."
PPS: Rest in peace, Jerry Reed.
[BY THE WAY — Honest Abe made that famous comment at CLINTON, Illinois. Maybe there's a reason there's a woman on the GOP ticket and not the Democratic ticket.]
© Curtis Dahlgren
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(See RenewAmerica's publishing standards.)
