Curtis Dahlgren
The chain reaction we REALLY fear: Liberal policies and their consequences
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By Curtis Dahlgren
April 16, 2010

"We cannot continue to rely only on our military . . we've got to have a civilian security force just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded. We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives we've set."
Presidential candidate Barack Oboma

I HAVE A FEW DUMB QUESTIONS. What does he mean by "WE"? Does he have a chipmunk in his pocket, or what? WE the people know that he doesn't care what WE think our "objectives" ought to be!

And what does he mean exactly by a "civilian" security force? Will they be wearing white shirts, blue collars, or brown shirts? We know that Joe the White House plumber has no regard for the blue collar Tea partiers.

And what did Bo mean by "national security"? WHICH NATION? We know for sure he has no intention of beefing up security on the southern border! Janet Reno-Napolitano now regards Christian groups as Enemy Number One. So what can we conclude?

Is the President naive? Is he just a bit daft? Is he a cross between the president of the Weimar Republic and Emporer Nero? Or is it all of the above?

The one thing we know for sure is that he himself has said "I am not naive."

Yes, I think he knows what he's doing. He just doesn't want YOU to know what he's doing. Coming off his much-hyped nuke-U-lar policy changes and seminars, another dumb question arises:

"If his 'peace' initiatives were real and really relevant why did he waste a year and a half on taking over banks, car companies, and one-sixth of the economy that is in 'healthcare'?"

William B.J. Clinton once said that Oboma "has the instincts of a Chicago thug."

Not just any run-of-the-mill Chicago thug either, but a self-proclaimed Lefty Chicago thug. I once belonged to a worldwide church that was taken over by a Chicago lefty. Centuries-old doctrines were thrown in the drink overnight. It was a hostile takeover designed to "down-size" the church so that those at the top could sell off church assets for their own retirement funds. It's a long story, but you get the idea already, and this White House reminds us of some of our worst fears, some of the worst trauma we've seen before.

takeover, n. 1. the seizure or assumption of authority, control, management, etc.

2. the acquisition of one company by another, especially when carried out unexpectedly, often without the general consent of the one acquired.

That's the word-of-the-day, boys and girls. A journalist was recently playing basketball with the President and asked if he can go to his right. The Prez sez, "I can go to my right, but I prefer to go to my left."

NO TRUER WORDS WERE EVER SPOKEN, PROBABLY. You can think on the implications of those words until next week's column if you will, but I have a post-script to add to this one. Although the Prez seems to know nothing about the White Sox (he probably prefers the Red), Chicago politicians play hard ball. A Chicago friend of mine has a feeling that the mob helped put this post-turtle up on that fence post. I think he was probably surprised that he won the election even, but he's sure going to make the most of his take-over opportunities before the elections this fall. Well, this columnist played a lot of hard ball too.

P.S. Two of my contemporary writing models were Jim Murray, the sportswriter, and Art Buchwald the political satirist. I paid tribute to the former in my previous column, and what follows is an actual column by Buchwald. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I would think that after more than 40 years, their words ought to be part of the public domain. Buchwald wrote this column in the fall of 1967:

Soviet Birthday Planners Busy

The Soviet Union is celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Bolshevik revolution, but everyone seems to be trying to spoil it for them. One of the highlights of the year-long celebration was going to be the setting off of a fireworks display in the Middle East this spring. But Israel refused to go along with the celebration and set off fireworks of its own, thus ruining the Soviet birthday party, which was to have included Arab dancing in the streets of Tel Aviv.

Since then the Soviets have accused the United States of trying to "discredit" their anniversary and the Soviet press claims there is a conspiracy under way to ruin the Soviets' golden birthday.

Even Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. got into the act the other day, when he urged Harper and Row to postpone the publication of Svetlana Alliluyeva's book about her father, Josef Stalin, until after Nov. 7, the anniversary of the revolution. Schlesinger thought U.S.-Soviet relations would be dealt a severe blow if Svetlana's memoirs were published before the November ceremonies.

Now it's obvious to everyone that the last thing the United States wants to do is hurt Soviet feelings, particularly since the Soviet Union has been so nice to us in the past few months. So in order to show that there is no conspiracy to ruin their party, a group of us has set up a Bolshevik Golden Anniversary Committee.

The object of the committee is to make sure nothing is done in the United States to offend the sensibilities of the Soviets. For a start, the committee intends to buy out Harper and Row's interest in Svetlana's book and see that it isn't published at all.If this is not possible, then the committee will buy up every copy and burn them in a giant bonfire in front of the Soviet embassy on Nov. 6.

Thus the problem of Svetlana's book will be handled with dignity and dispatch and the spirit of Glassboro will be kept alive.

The committee is also planning to have Arthur Goldberg bake a beautiful birthdaycake for Nikolai Federenko, the Soviet delegate to the United Nations, which he will present to the Soviet ambassador at a surprise session of the Security Council.

Plans are under way to hold a giant costume ball at the U.N. where everyone will be urged to "come as you were before the Mideast war started."

The grand prize for the best costume will be two weeks in the Sinai Desert with the Egyptian general of your choice.

Other events that are now in the hopper include a "Miss Lenin of 1967" contest at Atlantic City, a tickertape parade down Wall Street led by the Daughters of the Soviet Revolution, and a "Take a Commie to Lunch Week."

Since setting up the committee, we have had inquiries from Americans in every walk of life asking what they can do to help the Soviets celebrate their anniversary.

Well, for a start, we could practice for Nov. 6. All together now:

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, dear Bolsheviks,
Happy birthday to you.

PPS:


The forces of Evil and Empire probably have plans for the BIG party in 2017 after our foreign policy restores the world to early-1967 conditions and brings in Big Brother's UTOPIA.

How about having the ghost of Nikita Krushchev ceremonially pitch in the first shovel of dirt on America's grave (post-partisan, "post-bigotry" America)?

© Curtis Dahlgren

 

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Curtis Dahlgren

Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton... (more)

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