Curtis Dahlgren
October 20, 2012
A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to Utopia (part one)
By Curtis Dahlgren

"I had a better year than the President." — Babe Ruth (to justify his salary)

"I pledge allegiance to the effete liberal snobs of Cambridge-Brookline, and to any causes that they espouse; one elite group, without school prayer, but with special privileges for all of them." — National Review cartoon by Shelton (Oct 28, 1988)

I'VE BEEN CATCHING UP ON SOME BACK READING. I found this interesting NR in the garage the other day (God save the National Review; rest in peace, Newsweek):

Presidential debates were in the news almost exactly 24 years ago, too. Here's an excerpt from an article on one of the Bush41-Dukakis debates:

"'The first mistake.' These were Dolan's first words a beat after Michael Dukakis's first sentence was, 'I agree with Mr. Bush' . . . As customary as as they may be on the floor of Congress or before an academic audience, [such words] have no place in a debate where differences are to be sharpened, not resolved. Any candidate will do his best when he opens with, 'Here's where I disagree with my opponent.'" — Anthony Dolan, Bush speechwriter (quoted in article by Neal Freeman).

WELL, while the Yankees were losing the pennant, New York City was hosting the benefit roast by our two presidential opponents. Chalk up another embarrassment for the effete Eastern snobs. Romney brought down the house. Yes, I know he's also an Ivy League alum, but he was inoculated from most of the foolishness, getting his foundation at BYU.

BTW, Mitt's dad saved a car company without one cent of federal "stimulus" or TARP money! The company was the old Hudson-Nash company, which was just about dead in the water when George Romney came along. His AMC turnaround not only made money for the employees and stockholders, but the cars themselves were the best deal the middle class ever had. The upper middle class could afford the new Ramblers, and the lower middle class — including my family — could afford the used ones (and they kept running for a long time).

George Romney ought to be in the environmentalist Hall of Fame, because the Ramblers were mostly compact, fuel efficient autos — ahead of their time in fact. And most people under 60 or so have forgotten this story, even car buffs. How come the word "Rambler" hasn't come up in the 2012 campaigns — only the word "binders"? Or "Big Bird"? The biggest dinosaur out there — the REALLY big bird — is Air Force One, that gas guzzler we have to keep filling up while the Prez 44 continues his campaigning.

[If I were Mitt, I'd finish out my campaign by driving a 1964 Rambler Ambassador from Miami to Copper Harbor, Michigan. It could be done in a few days and could take him through such states as Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and the Upper Peninsula. He could drive it right into Lake Superior as a joke to make up for the years he had to ride around in his dad's official state limo-Ambassador.]

And who's doin' the President's job while he's on the road every day? Michelle, or the live-in mother-in-law? Or the dog Bo? Maybe the POTUS really is just a figure-head job, as some conspiracy buffs long suspected (at least since the exit of Pres. Reagan).

By the way — FYI
— while da guv and da prez were in NYC last night, I happened to be attending a concert by the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra. In da U.P.! I was da designated yooper. That roughly translates "da designated redneck."

Incidentally, I deny letting a bat loose in the music hall. It wasn't me, although when I was in high school, our rivals from the town next door used to let pigeons loose in our gymnasium during dull moments in basketball games (we had one of those old gyms where most spectators sat in a balcony circling the court a la the "Hoosiers" film era).

[As another aside, I seriously recommend the "best of Fred Hutchison" article on music history currently on the home page at RenewAmerica. www.renewamerica.com/analysis/Hutchison/121018 At a time in which violent crime and other social problems are going up again, we can use all the music — and religion — we can get. "Think on whatsoever things are beautiful."]

WELL, enough of this "Rambling" — no pun intended — it's almost time for lunch, so I'll have to sum up this piece:

1. Babe Ruth really did have a better year than the President, and -

2. The snobs from the Ivy League really do think that their IQ s are in the upper 98th percentile, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

P.S. "O you who are born of the blood of the gods . . . easy is the descent to [Hell] . .

"But to retrace your steps and come out to the air above, that is work, that is labor."


- Virgil (70-19 B.C.)


PPS: Maybe we should elect a musician from a symphony orchestra. They never seem to have a "bad day"!

© Curtis Dahlgren

 

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Curtis Dahlgren

Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton... (more)

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