Gabriel Garnica
NBC's next target: the parade
FacebookTwitterGoogle+
By Gabriel Garnica
November 26, 2010

I hope you enjoyed the 84th Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade because, given NBC's increasingly stupid moves of late, the next edition's goose may be more cooked than any turkey in sight.

Between its selection of Sharif El-Gamal, the developer of the Ground Zero Mosque as one of its "People of the Year" and its typical liberal bias, NBC seems hell-bent on becoming the waste dump of liberal foolishness. If there is one thing liberals seem to detest, it is tradition; and nothing exemplifies tradition like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Given NBC's obviously twisted obsession with political correctness and all things liberal, what might we expect from upcoming editions?

Let's begin with the route. The first parade in 1924 ran from Harlem to Herald Square and now moves from Central Park West to Herald Square. Given NBC's admiration of El-Gamal and apparent approval of his proposed Ground Zero development, perhaps the network will try to convince Macy's to change the route so that it includes Ground Zero. I am sure that NBC and its liberal friends will find nothing inappropriate about having a Mickey Mouse or Garfield balloon floating over the site where thousands of innocent lives were lost.

Next, a change might be in store for the floats. Perhaps floats will have to be approved by a committee composed of Matt Lauer, Keith Olbermann, Michael Moore, Bill Maher and Joy Behar which will impose a Fair Balloon Use Doctrine limiting balloons to any that do not offend any group which consistently votes for Democrats. Perhaps El-Gamal himself can be named Grand Marshall of next year's parade, where he will lead the parade on a float.

As for the name, you may not be surprised to learn that the parade once included the word Christmas in its name but, consistently with all things liberal, that word would be completely stricken from any future parade activities and floats. While Santa Claus has traditionally ended the parade, many enlightened liberals find St. Nick offensive starting with the saint part and adding the religious connection. Therefore, do not be surprised if soon we have dancing virgins ending the parade and the parade is renamed something like The Macy's Down with The Infidels Parade.

Large balloons and floats will always be a part of the parade, however, since liberals will never run out of hot air and love to float just about anything past the American public in the hopes that we will be stupid enough to accept it. Live animals were a part of the early parades, but people cleaning compost will not be absent from future events, as I am sure that there will be plenty of fertilizer to go around after this event passes through.

NBC appears poised to fuse two classic movies together in its blind support of all things liberal. One can envision actor Slim Pickens riding a bomb out of an airplane in the classic Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. This actor's fantastic name epitomizes the Democratic Party today since anyone looking for a positive choice for America from their ranks will certainly find slim pickings. As for riding a bomb, NBC' plummeting ratings over the past years parallel's that station's increasing disconnect with the typical American.

The other classic movie which NBC presently brings to mind is the famous film Cool Hand Luke, where two particular quotes perfectly reflect the present liberal leadership and NBC's genuflection before that leadership. One can clearly envision Obama, Biden, or Pelosi boasting that "sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand." Likewise, for anyone finding it ironic that a broadcast network would increasingly lose the ability to connect with the typical American viewer amid its sacrifice and abandonment of our core values and moral positions, we can wrap this second aspect of liberals' and NBC's slide toward oblivion with the friendly and classic observation that "What we've got here... is a failure to communicate" true American values with its increasingly imbecilic and Left biased servings at mainstream America's table. It is appropriate that NBC's headquarters is located at Rockefeller Center with its famous ice rink. Given our nation's decreasing patience with the radical Leftist agenda and that station's increasingly biased coverage of our nation, it appears that the Left and its broadcasting partners in crime such as NBC and MSNBC are skating on thin ice.

© Gabriel Garnica

 

The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of RenewAmerica or its affiliates.
(See RenewAmerica's publishing standards.)