How to win online debates

By Adam Graham

I love a good debate as much as anyone. Two of my favorite videotapes are the Keyes/Dershowitz debate on religion in society and the Marshall/Wilkins debate on the Civil War. Watching a debate with two people who are passionate in their views, discussing a great question is great entertainment to me.

Below this heady level of debate, we have the cable TV shows which put moderators in the driver's seat and press participants for pithy sound bytes. And then we have online debates.

If good, well-structured debates are boxing matches and the cable TV shows are ultimate fighting cage matches, then online debates are street fights where the winner is the last man standing.

I used to quite liberally join in the online fracases over a variety of issues: abortion, the resurrection of Christ, etc. I could often be found typing until 2-3:00 a.m. in the morning fighting the good fight and never getting anything done.

Over time, you begin to realize that online debates have some deficiencies, the greatest of which is that they're a waste of productive time. Still, if you want to "win" an online debate, here's some observations from a veteran:

1. Learn how to ridicule the beliefs of others: When you debate online, you can be quite contemptible in your choice of verbiage. Don't just respond to your opponents, ridicule them. If you merely respond, they can just fire back a response, but the ridicule will strengthen your argument and there's not really a good way to respond to being ridiculed.
   
   
2. Repeat yourself: Keep going over the same ground over and over again. The most talented online debaters say the exact same thing repeatedly in a slightly different way. In doing so, they force their opponents to become equally repetitive, which can help you in winning the debate.
   
   
3. Quote whole articles of more than a thousand words in their entirety. While in an offline debate, you couldn't stand up and read fifty pages of material, nothing stops you from doing so online. Thus, if you're not very good at forming logical arguments, all you have to do is quote others' good arguments and thus you can bolster your weakness and outmatch your opponent.
   
   
4. Remember that if your opponent quits debating you, you win. What will pay off most in repetitiveness, a snotty attitude, and writing posts that are so long that your opponent cannot respond to them unless he quits his jobs and dedicates his entire life to addressing your rants. If he says he's leaving because you're rude or repetitive, you've really won because it shows how much you dominated the debate.
   
   

Of course, winning an online debate comes with great rewards, but they aren't what you'd think. You won't have wide recognition for winning. If you're debating on a forum, you'll find that after the first hundred or so posts, the average reader skims the rest. Thus, the great online debates end with both the winner and loser unknown, even on the forum where the debate happened.

You won't really influence the direction of what people think on a given issue. Obviously, the aforementioned problem with length comes into play, because if people don't actually read the debate, they're not going to be influenced by it. Also, the people who are willing to debate you on issues generally feel the strongest about them and are the least likely to change their mind. Online debates tends to entrench people in their opinions, not soften them.

Online debates don't prepare you for real life debates, either. Try my advice offline and any responsible moderator will cut you off. Strangely enough, being tiresome, rude, and annoying doesn't win debate in real life forums.

The prize is the satisfaction that you won the debate. You beat that guy. You showed him who was right!

Of course, winning in the traditional sense of debating is nearly impossible. Making great points and presenting ideas clearly don't count for much if you can't tire your opponent out in the world of online debates.

Don't get me wrong. Online discussion boards are great because people can air their unique views and express their opinions with a little bit of back and forth. However, when I'm tempted to enter a long drawn-out debate where odds are strong comparisons to Hitler will be made and/or Findlaw.com will be quoted extensively, I remember the words of the computer Joshua from the movie War Games regarding global nuclear war:

Interesting game, professor. The only way to win is not to play.

© Adam Graham