Let DNC Chairman Howard Dean . . . eat his foot stew

By Kaye Grogan

Apparently, Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean missed his calling. He would have made an excellent stand-up comedian. Actually, he's the Republicans' best ally from the Democratic camp. Every time Dean opens his mouth to bad-mouth Republicans — he causes the female Democrats to become high-strung, and the Democratic men looking for cloak closets to jump in or bridges to jump off of!

I think it's amazing that Mr. Dean can pick out every single "white" Republican Christian just by the way they look. Well, I guess so — it's hard to miss those "glowing" halos — right Mr. Dean? Now, it's time you worked on a way to identify the "black" Republican Christians to be fair-minded.

And who told Howard Dean — Republicans refuse to work, and how lazy they are? I bet the Republicans are upset their secret is out now. How on earth will they live this latest revelation down?

Frankly Mr. Dean — I'm waiting anxiously for your next foot-in-the-mouth comment. But aren't you getting a bit tired of eating foot stew? And it's nice to know that you consider yourself a white Christian Democrat. I'm relieved to know the Republican Party is not the only political party with Christian supporters. But you must share your secret with us, how you are a good white Christian Democrat, while all Republican white Christians are people to be "branded" as right-wing fanatics and evil. Didn't you make a statement recently, that all Republicans are evil, before you decided they were all lookalike white Christians?

I'm just curious Mr. Dean — if you are conferring with the "majority" of the Democrats before you "bash" the Republicans publicly or if you are flying solo from the cuckoo's nest, to amuse us with your rhetoric? I hope you're not letting anyone steal your thunder, because if you end up a failure in the political arena, I'm sure you'll be in great demand in Hollywood.

Most Americans were not familiar with your name Mr. Dean, until you threw your hat into the presidential ring. And I must admit you are a "colorful" character. One thing is for sure — you have your party in a tizzy right now. And I wouldn't blame you a bit for getting back at the liberal news media, and other Democrats for the way they treated you when they decided you weren't exactly presidential material. I guess they decided you would be disastrous at White House press conferences. Somehow, I can't picture you being diplomatic with foreign leaders. I have a vision of you punching them in the nose, if they disagree with your stance on foreign policy.

The "buzz" going around in political circles Mr. Dean, is how centrist you're making presidential hopeful Senator Hillary Clinton appear to be. But don't take that as a compliment just yet, because you make practically everyone look like a centrist in the liberal political realm.

I totally agree with your assessment Mr. Dean and Senator Reid, about how somebody really should focus on the important issues facing the country. And somebody needs to find solutions to problems that are decades old, above the same ole' futile promises.

Mr. Dean, you really should be grateful that Senator Reid is willing to walk behind you with a "scoop" to clean up your mouth droppings — as you continue to verbally attack the opposing side.

But on second thought: with Senator Reid making his own "misspoken" comments vilifying President Bush as being a liar and loser — you both should be willing to pass the political spokesman torch — to someone else with more credibility... while you two share a bowl of foot stew.

And that's just my opinion!

© Kaye Grogan