Doug Hagin
Christmas blues
By Doug Hagin
Yes it is Christmas once again, that magical time of year when everyone seems happier, more generous, and more loving. This time of year offers so much hope and joy that it has become a holiday stretching from Thanksgiving to New Years. Tis the season for so many different things for Americans.
Tis the season for giving and getting presents. Tis the season for shopping. Tis the season for decorating your home and yard to celebrate Christmas. Tis the season for watching the joy and magic in children's eyes. Tis the season for singing Christmas carols, drinking eggnog, and trying to get that special person under the mistletoe. Of course far more important than all of those this is the time to celebrate a birthday, of Jesus Christ. He is the reason for the season after all.
Sadly though, among all the joys of this season, among all the smiles and happiness there are a growing number of people who find this holiday painful. These people, who seemingly become more vocal and more angry each Christmas are suffering from a disease which infects millions of Americans theses days, Offendeditis.
Offendeditis can strike anyone but those most often targeted by this malady, are the far-left wing of the American Liberals. They are the ones who seemingly suffer the symptoms of this disease most often. And no time of year is as bad as Christmas for these tortured souls.
Everything offends them it seems. Of course their most radical and painful reactions come whenever they spy a manger scene. Just the mere sight of Baby Jesus in that manger makes these seemingly intelligent folks start ranting about separation of church and state and violations of the First Amendment. It is truly a pathetic display my friends. But it is a scene we are seeing grow more common every year.
Each Christmas season we hear of more manger scenes banned or protested against because these seemingly harmless symbols cause such pain and torment for the sufferers of offendeditis. How sad to be in their shoes, finding offense and persecution in things which offer such joy for the rest of us.
Even more troubling is that now it is not only manger scenes causing such great offense. The very sight of Santa Claus now causes great consternation for the victims of offendeditis as well. Yes believe it or not jolly old St. Nick is now seen as a threat to our Republic by the far far far left. Santa and his reindeer now often find themselves targets of the paranoid rage of the offendeditis crowd. This is truly sad.
Even Christmas trees are offensive these days it seems. The sufferers of Offendeditis have grown so hypersensitive that even a Douglas Fir will cause them to break out in hives and cold sweat. Apparently this disease causes anyone afflicted with it to suffer great emotional stress at even the hint of anything remotely religious in nature.
This epidemic is now so out of control even the word Christmas is under attack. Yes a word is now seen as dangerous by these poor folks. Of course we know Christmas is a word and can not cause harm to anyone. But to the sufferers of Offendeditis the word Christmas is a looming threat somehow.
More often we read of various parades being attacked because they are called a Christmas parade. The offended folks seem to prefer Winter Solstice parade, or holiday parade, or winter parade or anything but Christmas parade. Of course the reason for these parades being called Christmas parades is because they celebrate Christmas but logic is lost on the deeply offended.
So let us try to understand the motivation of those who would banish Santa, Christmas trees, holiday parades, Baby Jesus, and likely mistletoe as well. They are not trying to be mean or insensitive. Oh no! They surely are not just being whiny and petty. Certainly not! They are not just ill tempered people trying to be grinches and ruin everyone else's good times. No not at all!
They are merely people deep in pain and suffering from this too often overlooked disease.
How else can we possibly explain the growing number of outbreaks of Offendeditis? Surely it is not an actual fear of Santa or Christmas trees or the very word Christmas is it? No it surely must be this disease causing such irrational behaviors from these folks. It has to be I mean these people could not think up such asinine arguments on their own could they? They could surely never actually believe that people celebrating this holiday are actually being mean could they?
No it must be that dreaded disease Offendeditis robbing these folks of reason and sanity. They do not mean to be a pain and burden to the rest of us, no, no, they just need our help to conquer the disease they are battling. So let us resolve to just ignore their carping and wish them a Merry Christmas! They sure need to learn to have one of those for a change!
© Doug Hagin
Yes it is Christmas once again, that magical time of year when everyone seems happier, more generous, and more loving. This time of year offers so much hope and joy that it has become a holiday stretching from Thanksgiving to New Years. Tis the season for so many different things for Americans.
Tis the season for giving and getting presents. Tis the season for shopping. Tis the season for decorating your home and yard to celebrate Christmas. Tis the season for watching the joy and magic in children's eyes. Tis the season for singing Christmas carols, drinking eggnog, and trying to get that special person under the mistletoe. Of course far more important than all of those this is the time to celebrate a birthday, of Jesus Christ. He is the reason for the season after all.
Sadly though, among all the joys of this season, among all the smiles and happiness there are a growing number of people who find this holiday painful. These people, who seemingly become more vocal and more angry each Christmas are suffering from a disease which infects millions of Americans theses days, Offendeditis.
Offendeditis can strike anyone but those most often targeted by this malady, are the far-left wing of the American Liberals. They are the ones who seemingly suffer the symptoms of this disease most often. And no time of year is as bad as Christmas for these tortured souls.
Everything offends them it seems. Of course their most radical and painful reactions come whenever they spy a manger scene. Just the mere sight of Baby Jesus in that manger makes these seemingly intelligent folks start ranting about separation of church and state and violations of the First Amendment. It is truly a pathetic display my friends. But it is a scene we are seeing grow more common every year.
Each Christmas season we hear of more manger scenes banned or protested against because these seemingly harmless symbols cause such pain and torment for the sufferers of offendeditis. How sad to be in their shoes, finding offense and persecution in things which offer such joy for the rest of us.
Even more troubling is that now it is not only manger scenes causing such great offense. The very sight of Santa Claus now causes great consternation for the victims of offendeditis as well. Yes believe it or not jolly old St. Nick is now seen as a threat to our Republic by the far far far left. Santa and his reindeer now often find themselves targets of the paranoid rage of the offendeditis crowd. This is truly sad.
Even Christmas trees are offensive these days it seems. The sufferers of Offendeditis have grown so hypersensitive that even a Douglas Fir will cause them to break out in hives and cold sweat. Apparently this disease causes anyone afflicted with it to suffer great emotional stress at even the hint of anything remotely religious in nature.
This epidemic is now so out of control even the word Christmas is under attack. Yes a word is now seen as dangerous by these poor folks. Of course we know Christmas is a word and can not cause harm to anyone. But to the sufferers of Offendeditis the word Christmas is a looming threat somehow.
More often we read of various parades being attacked because they are called a Christmas parade. The offended folks seem to prefer Winter Solstice parade, or holiday parade, or winter parade or anything but Christmas parade. Of course the reason for these parades being called Christmas parades is because they celebrate Christmas but logic is lost on the deeply offended.
So let us try to understand the motivation of those who would banish Santa, Christmas trees, holiday parades, Baby Jesus, and likely mistletoe as well. They are not trying to be mean or insensitive. Oh no! They surely are not just being whiny and petty. Certainly not! They are not just ill tempered people trying to be grinches and ruin everyone else's good times. No not at all!
They are merely people deep in pain and suffering from this too often overlooked disease.
How else can we possibly explain the growing number of outbreaks of Offendeditis? Surely it is not an actual fear of Santa or Christmas trees or the very word Christmas is it? No it surely must be this disease causing such irrational behaviors from these folks. It has to be I mean these people could not think up such asinine arguments on their own could they? They could surely never actually believe that people celebrating this holiday are actually being mean could they?
No it must be that dreaded disease Offendeditis robbing these folks of reason and sanity. They do not mean to be a pain and burden to the rest of us, no, no, they just need our help to conquer the disease they are battling. So let us resolve to just ignore their carping and wish them a Merry Christmas! They sure need to learn to have one of those for a change!
© Doug Hagin
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