Christian Hartsock
Newsflash: Jimmy Carter hates the Jews (oh wait, that's not news)
By Christian Hartsock
The New York Times recently ran an editorial headline reading: "Carter in the Middle East: Dangerous or Courageous?" Gee, I don't know. Is "moronic" an option? The editorial gushed, "Former President Jimmy Carter should be lauded, not lambasted, for the courage afforded retired politicians to open a dialogue with Israel's adversaries. It is with one's enemies, after all — not preferred interlocutors — that treaties ending wars must be made." And it is with "treaties ending wars" with obstinate terrorist groups that Jews are hoodwinked into surrendering their land in exchange for more suicide bombings and Intifadas which historically are nothing more than cues for them to make the next concession.
It's just adorable how the wonderful freedom fighters at the ACLU will do everything in their power to ensure that elementary school children are prohibited from praying or reading their Bibles during lunchtime (at the expense of their required reading — Heather Has Two Mommies) and that high school salutatorians are prohibited from mentioning their faith at graduation ceremonies, yet our dubbed "first evangelical president" is given all the airtime, book deals and media mouthwatering he needs to disparage our country, malign our Jewish allies, meet cute with our common enemies and annoy us with seditious soundbite after seditious soundbite.
While Mel Gibson ends up at the mercy of '80s has-been Patrick Swayze waxing his car in the face of national embarrassment after an inebriated Gibson notoriously blamed all the wars of the world on the Jews upon being cited for speeding on Highway 1 in Malibu, Jimmy Carter wins a Nobel Peace Prize — which is only a cherry on top of the millions he makes blaming everything under the sun on the Jews in his perennial bestsellers (which I believe he writes in a state of sobriety).
While it takes some nerve to sell Iran out to the Ayatollah, to mock Americans for their "inordinate fear of communism" while the Soviets extended their sphere just south of our border and to whine that there are "too many Jews" on the Holocaust Memorial Council (let's just say Carter had enough lampshades in the Lincoln bedroom), to Mel's credit, even those of us who can handle our liquor who have cruised the broad, vacant Pacific Coast Highway late at night have also been tempted to exceed that annoying 45 mph limit.
As amusing as it is to hear liberals pretending to care about the Jews with their screeches of "anti-Semitism" when Gibson dared direct a picture that actually happened to portray the Gospels — as authored by Jews — accurately, while sparing the actress playing Mary Magdalene from a Hustler-esque sex scene, all the while deifying Jimmy Carter for his indirect rhetorical paeans to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the immortal sin Gibson had committed — prior to becoming the archetype of celebrities who apparently need rehab for using playground jive — was literally tantamount to Spike Lee's accurate portrayal of Malcolm X's assassination at the hands of black Muslims. Last I checked, Spike Lee was never stigmatized as a Klansman for showing Mr. el-Shabazz, a black leader, getting killed by blacks, but that didn't stop liberals from going into unhinged spasms reminiscent of Linda Blair in The Exorcist over Gibson showing Christ, a Jewish leader, getting killed by the Romans at the request of a small handful of Jews. And so it goes and so it goes as liberals orgasmically embrace our most time-honored anti-Semite, Jimmy Carter. Perhaps Spike Lee was let off the hook on account of the fact that his object of affection, Malcolm X, also tended to blame everything on the Jews.
As Lindsay Lohan incessantly endeavors to perpetuate her hot shot status via cover story-warranting episodes of drunken buffoonery, as Britney Spears grooms herself for a part in the sequel to American History X, as Dennis Kucinich runs for president every election, Jimmy Carter perpetuates his hot shot status (which has long exceeded its expiration date of Jan. 20, 1981) by recurrently expressing his hatred of Jews and recurrently endorsing global forces of Judeocide.
This time he is meeting with Hamas leader with Hamas Leader Khalid Meshall on the 25th anniversary of Hezbollah's terror attack in Beirut which killed 17 Americans and 35 Lebanese citizens. Where is the Michael Moore who chastised Charleton Heston for allegedly scheduling his NRA rallies as celebrations of freak gun tragedies when we need him?
And for the past year, Carter has been bitching that the Bush administration spends too much time favoring the centrist Palestinian Fatah movement and not enough time backing Hamas terrorists. During a recent conference with Irish human rights officials, Carter called the Bush administration's decisions to not fund preemptive terrorism — in much the same way Carter himself abetted the Kremlin-backed Nicaraguan Sandinistas leaving Reagan to clean up after him, or in the same way he allowed extremist mullahs to seize Iran and stage a rendition of Dog Day Afternoon in Tehran's U.S. embassy — an "effort to divide Palestinians into two peoples." Apparently this is in contradistinction to Carter's preferred approach of dividing another Israeli disco-frequenter's body into two pieces.
While probably physically restraining his mind-of-its-own right arm from instinctually saluting the Fuhrer a la Peter Sellers in "Dr. Strangelove," Carter gushes over Hamas' "superior skills and discipline." Superior to what? The Crips? Apparently Carter's criteria for Palestinian factions meriting our support is those that don't see the PLO's original "push the Jews into the sea" platform as mere antiquated radical '60s rhetoric.
The Democrats' support for terrorism is no longer a reactionary theory. It is objective fact. Almost exactly two years ago, when Karl Rove insinuated MoveOn.org's 9/13/01 call for "moderation and restraint" as liberal acquiescence to terror, the notion of contemporary liberal treachery was yet an indirect, philosophical assessment. But after the House Republicans called the House Democrats on their bluff in surrendering in Iraq later that year (back when the Democrats were only crazy enough to be bluffing); after Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, Howard Dean, John Edwards, Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama and the other new kids on the Capitol block began literally and publicly declaring U.S. military impotence for their precious Coastal vote, and after the rusty golden calf of liberal pusillanimity, Jimmy Carter, recently lambasted the White House for being soft on non-terrorism — just as the 1995 release of the Venona cables confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that Democrats had been committing treason against their own country all throughout the Cold War — it has been confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that the Democrats have graduated from the third trimester of treacherous development and are now official traitors, as opposed to mere treasonous "tissue cells." Though we don't prosecute treason anymore, though we don't prosecute anti-Semitism (but prosecute anti-anything-left-of-McCain-ism), this does not render the existence of treason or the existence of anti-Semitism obsolete. It is now official U.S. policy and protocol.
Hating the Jews is acceptable, if not heroic, as long as you never directed The Passion of the Christ. In the case of Ronald Reagan, presiding in the Oval Office two decades before 9/11 at the same time Osama bin-Laden trained with the mujahideen to push the Iron Curtain out of Afghanistan (with zero U.S. aid according to the 9/11 Report) makes you an accomplice to al-Qaeda and is unacceptable. Meanwhile, in the case of Jimmy Carter, verbally exonerating terrorist groups, urging U.S. support for them, on top of betraying the Shah of Iran, betraying the Contras in Nicaragua, betraying and mocking Americans legitimately fearful of global Soviet expansion, facilitating Soviet expansion into South America, facilitating the advent of terrorist-funding Islamic extremist dominion in the Middle East, and shamelessly pushing for that aforementioned push into the sea is not only acceptable, it is commendable, it is heroic, it is patriotic.
Carter has fashioned his backup pulpit in bookstores and cakewalk interviews conducted by Kool-Aid-swigging sissy pundits, but when Harvard professor Alan Dershowitz invited him to a public debate on foreign policy in December 2006, Carter snobbishly rejected the offer on the basis that Dershowitz "knows nothing about the situation." Liberals claim to champion intellectual diversity and conveniently take the liberty of spewing whatever obnoxious, idiotic talking points they feel will give their emotional insecurities some cathartic alleviation, but if any one of us dares respond (assuming we are availed the chance) we better prepare a public apology speech and some time off to enter rehab.
Regretfully, anticipating the day I wake up to find our flags half-mast with the knowledge that it wasn't Bill Clinton or George Bush 41 who bit the dust this time is almost like anticipating Terence Malick or Francis Coppola to finally release another movie. This president has gone way out of line. His redundant rhetoric is no longer an appreciable contribution to the art of public discourse, it is like the muzak cover of "Kokomo" you have to listen to in the elevator en route from the lobby to the ninth floor.
As much as I love that Howard Dean is chairman of the Democratic National Committee, as much as I love the idea of Stuart Smalley being a "respected" member of Congress, as much as I look f Dennis Kucinich's campaigns, but this seemingly immortal one-term wonder who unfortunately never made the "Where Are They Now?" list is one welcome-overstaying Democrat we shouldn't have to tolerate anymore even for amusement purposes. When Clinton was hospitalized for bypass surgery, I prayed for him. A brilliant genius of a politician but a pathetic embarrassment of a leader he was, yet a veteran U.S. president nonetheless. Carter has forfeited any warrant for such respect. He had his shot at the presidency, he screwed it up, he was succeeded by the greatest leader we ever had, is still bitter that he only managed to screw our country and the world over for four years, and is now like that anti-social 28-year-old outcast living at home who crashes the high school reunion because he's still raw from having failed his sophomore history class. When those flags descend my only reaction will be that of Robert De Niro's first words after one unlucky bastard got an ice-pick through the back of the neck in Goodfellas: "Thought he'd never shut the f--- up."
At the risk of being filed under "Conservatives We Don't Need To Respond To," I have but a few words for you, Mr. One-Term Wonder: Don't think I haven't forgotten you speaking the following words at the 2004 Democratic National Convention: "After 9/11, America stood proud — wounded, but determined and united. A cowardly attack on innocent civilians brought us an unprecedented level of cooperation and understanding around the world. But in just 34 months, we have watched with deep concern as all this good will has been squandered by a virtually unbroken series of mistakes and miscalculations." Let me tell you something, James: You are the last human being on the planet who should be talking about "mistakes and miscalculations."
We don't like you. We never liked you. The only reason you got to serve that one term is because your party pathetically used Watergate as a cheap diversion from their successful endeavors to surrender our troops to the North Vietnamese, and because we had a weak incumbent — God rest his soul — who couldn't manage to make it out of Air Force One without stumbling onto his backside. We made it abundantly clear that we had had enough of you in 1980; now here we are in 2008, and I find it ridiculous that I have to reiterate to you 28 years after the fact that we still have had enough of you.
On behalf of our troops overseas dying for a cause you don't believe in and for this nation that you blatantly despise so much which you have done everything in your power to ruin; on behalf of our loyal Jewish allies who have already taken enough crap as it is — whom you and I both know you consider to be worth nothing more than shower soap; on behalf of everything good, pure and decent leftover in this world, since you don't seem to be planning on shutting up, dying, or both of the above any time soon, here's an advance request: For the love of God, Carter — cut the crap.
Even if Carter wasn't lying in accusing Condi Rice of lying about her dissuasion against his little "Let's Talk Things Over" pep talks with a group with a generation's worth of innocent Jewish blood on its hands, perhaps Condi should have not only encouraged Carter's fetishistic itch to rub shoulders with terrorist entities, but ran the extra mile by reserving a permanent stay for him at Guantanamo where can have all the time he needs to indulge it.
© Christian Hartsock
The New York Times recently ran an editorial headline reading: "Carter in the Middle East: Dangerous or Courageous?" Gee, I don't know. Is "moronic" an option? The editorial gushed, "Former President Jimmy Carter should be lauded, not lambasted, for the courage afforded retired politicians to open a dialogue with Israel's adversaries. It is with one's enemies, after all — not preferred interlocutors — that treaties ending wars must be made." And it is with "treaties ending wars" with obstinate terrorist groups that Jews are hoodwinked into surrendering their land in exchange for more suicide bombings and Intifadas which historically are nothing more than cues for them to make the next concession.
It's just adorable how the wonderful freedom fighters at the ACLU will do everything in their power to ensure that elementary school children are prohibited from praying or reading their Bibles during lunchtime (at the expense of their required reading — Heather Has Two Mommies) and that high school salutatorians are prohibited from mentioning their faith at graduation ceremonies, yet our dubbed "first evangelical president" is given all the airtime, book deals and media mouthwatering he needs to disparage our country, malign our Jewish allies, meet cute with our common enemies and annoy us with seditious soundbite after seditious soundbite.
While Mel Gibson ends up at the mercy of '80s has-been Patrick Swayze waxing his car in the face of national embarrassment after an inebriated Gibson notoriously blamed all the wars of the world on the Jews upon being cited for speeding on Highway 1 in Malibu, Jimmy Carter wins a Nobel Peace Prize — which is only a cherry on top of the millions he makes blaming everything under the sun on the Jews in his perennial bestsellers (which I believe he writes in a state of sobriety).
While it takes some nerve to sell Iran out to the Ayatollah, to mock Americans for their "inordinate fear of communism" while the Soviets extended their sphere just south of our border and to whine that there are "too many Jews" on the Holocaust Memorial Council (let's just say Carter had enough lampshades in the Lincoln bedroom), to Mel's credit, even those of us who can handle our liquor who have cruised the broad, vacant Pacific Coast Highway late at night have also been tempted to exceed that annoying 45 mph limit.
As amusing as it is to hear liberals pretending to care about the Jews with their screeches of "anti-Semitism" when Gibson dared direct a picture that actually happened to portray the Gospels — as authored by Jews — accurately, while sparing the actress playing Mary Magdalene from a Hustler-esque sex scene, all the while deifying Jimmy Carter for his indirect rhetorical paeans to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the immortal sin Gibson had committed — prior to becoming the archetype of celebrities who apparently need rehab for using playground jive — was literally tantamount to Spike Lee's accurate portrayal of Malcolm X's assassination at the hands of black Muslims. Last I checked, Spike Lee was never stigmatized as a Klansman for showing Mr. el-Shabazz, a black leader, getting killed by blacks, but that didn't stop liberals from going into unhinged spasms reminiscent of Linda Blair in The Exorcist over Gibson showing Christ, a Jewish leader, getting killed by the Romans at the request of a small handful of Jews. And so it goes and so it goes as liberals orgasmically embrace our most time-honored anti-Semite, Jimmy Carter. Perhaps Spike Lee was let off the hook on account of the fact that his object of affection, Malcolm X, also tended to blame everything on the Jews.
As Lindsay Lohan incessantly endeavors to perpetuate her hot shot status via cover story-warranting episodes of drunken buffoonery, as Britney Spears grooms herself for a part in the sequel to American History X, as Dennis Kucinich runs for president every election, Jimmy Carter perpetuates his hot shot status (which has long exceeded its expiration date of Jan. 20, 1981) by recurrently expressing his hatred of Jews and recurrently endorsing global forces of Judeocide.
This time he is meeting with Hamas leader with Hamas Leader Khalid Meshall on the 25th anniversary of Hezbollah's terror attack in Beirut which killed 17 Americans and 35 Lebanese citizens. Where is the Michael Moore who chastised Charleton Heston for allegedly scheduling his NRA rallies as celebrations of freak gun tragedies when we need him?
And for the past year, Carter has been bitching that the Bush administration spends too much time favoring the centrist Palestinian Fatah movement and not enough time backing Hamas terrorists. During a recent conference with Irish human rights officials, Carter called the Bush administration's decisions to not fund preemptive terrorism — in much the same way Carter himself abetted the Kremlin-backed Nicaraguan Sandinistas leaving Reagan to clean up after him, or in the same way he allowed extremist mullahs to seize Iran and stage a rendition of Dog Day Afternoon in Tehran's U.S. embassy — an "effort to divide Palestinians into two peoples." Apparently this is in contradistinction to Carter's preferred approach of dividing another Israeli disco-frequenter's body into two pieces.
While probably physically restraining his mind-of-its-own right arm from instinctually saluting the Fuhrer a la Peter Sellers in "Dr. Strangelove," Carter gushes over Hamas' "superior skills and discipline." Superior to what? The Crips? Apparently Carter's criteria for Palestinian factions meriting our support is those that don't see the PLO's original "push the Jews into the sea" platform as mere antiquated radical '60s rhetoric.
The Democrats' support for terrorism is no longer a reactionary theory. It is objective fact. Almost exactly two years ago, when Karl Rove insinuated MoveOn.org's 9/13/01 call for "moderation and restraint" as liberal acquiescence to terror, the notion of contemporary liberal treachery was yet an indirect, philosophical assessment. But after the House Republicans called the House Democrats on their bluff in surrendering in Iraq later that year (back when the Democrats were only crazy enough to be bluffing); after Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, Howard Dean, John Edwards, Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama and the other new kids on the Capitol block began literally and publicly declaring U.S. military impotence for their precious Coastal vote, and after the rusty golden calf of liberal pusillanimity, Jimmy Carter, recently lambasted the White House for being soft on non-terrorism — just as the 1995 release of the Venona cables confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that Democrats had been committing treason against their own country all throughout the Cold War — it has been confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that the Democrats have graduated from the third trimester of treacherous development and are now official traitors, as opposed to mere treasonous "tissue cells." Though we don't prosecute treason anymore, though we don't prosecute anti-Semitism (but prosecute anti-anything-left-of-McCain-ism), this does not render the existence of treason or the existence of anti-Semitism obsolete. It is now official U.S. policy and protocol.
Hating the Jews is acceptable, if not heroic, as long as you never directed The Passion of the Christ. In the case of Ronald Reagan, presiding in the Oval Office two decades before 9/11 at the same time Osama bin-Laden trained with the mujahideen to push the Iron Curtain out of Afghanistan (with zero U.S. aid according to the 9/11 Report) makes you an accomplice to al-Qaeda and is unacceptable. Meanwhile, in the case of Jimmy Carter, verbally exonerating terrorist groups, urging U.S. support for them, on top of betraying the Shah of Iran, betraying the Contras in Nicaragua, betraying and mocking Americans legitimately fearful of global Soviet expansion, facilitating Soviet expansion into South America, facilitating the advent of terrorist-funding Islamic extremist dominion in the Middle East, and shamelessly pushing for that aforementioned push into the sea is not only acceptable, it is commendable, it is heroic, it is patriotic.
Carter has fashioned his backup pulpit in bookstores and cakewalk interviews conducted by Kool-Aid-swigging sissy pundits, but when Harvard professor Alan Dershowitz invited him to a public debate on foreign policy in December 2006, Carter snobbishly rejected the offer on the basis that Dershowitz "knows nothing about the situation." Liberals claim to champion intellectual diversity and conveniently take the liberty of spewing whatever obnoxious, idiotic talking points they feel will give their emotional insecurities some cathartic alleviation, but if any one of us dares respond (assuming we are availed the chance) we better prepare a public apology speech and some time off to enter rehab.
Regretfully, anticipating the day I wake up to find our flags half-mast with the knowledge that it wasn't Bill Clinton or George Bush 41 who bit the dust this time is almost like anticipating Terence Malick or Francis Coppola to finally release another movie. This president has gone way out of line. His redundant rhetoric is no longer an appreciable contribution to the art of public discourse, it is like the muzak cover of "Kokomo" you have to listen to in the elevator en route from the lobby to the ninth floor.
As much as I love that Howard Dean is chairman of the Democratic National Committee, as much as I love the idea of Stuart Smalley being a "respected" member of Congress, as much as I look f Dennis Kucinich's campaigns, but this seemingly immortal one-term wonder who unfortunately never made the "Where Are They Now?" list is one welcome-overstaying Democrat we shouldn't have to tolerate anymore even for amusement purposes. When Clinton was hospitalized for bypass surgery, I prayed for him. A brilliant genius of a politician but a pathetic embarrassment of a leader he was, yet a veteran U.S. president nonetheless. Carter has forfeited any warrant for such respect. He had his shot at the presidency, he screwed it up, he was succeeded by the greatest leader we ever had, is still bitter that he only managed to screw our country and the world over for four years, and is now like that anti-social 28-year-old outcast living at home who crashes the high school reunion because he's still raw from having failed his sophomore history class. When those flags descend my only reaction will be that of Robert De Niro's first words after one unlucky bastard got an ice-pick through the back of the neck in Goodfellas: "Thought he'd never shut the f--- up."
At the risk of being filed under "Conservatives We Don't Need To Respond To," I have but a few words for you, Mr. One-Term Wonder: Don't think I haven't forgotten you speaking the following words at the 2004 Democratic National Convention: "After 9/11, America stood proud — wounded, but determined and united. A cowardly attack on innocent civilians brought us an unprecedented level of cooperation and understanding around the world. But in just 34 months, we have watched with deep concern as all this good will has been squandered by a virtually unbroken series of mistakes and miscalculations." Let me tell you something, James: You are the last human being on the planet who should be talking about "mistakes and miscalculations."
We don't like you. We never liked you. The only reason you got to serve that one term is because your party pathetically used Watergate as a cheap diversion from their successful endeavors to surrender our troops to the North Vietnamese, and because we had a weak incumbent — God rest his soul — who couldn't manage to make it out of Air Force One without stumbling onto his backside. We made it abundantly clear that we had had enough of you in 1980; now here we are in 2008, and I find it ridiculous that I have to reiterate to you 28 years after the fact that we still have had enough of you.
On behalf of our troops overseas dying for a cause you don't believe in and for this nation that you blatantly despise so much which you have done everything in your power to ruin; on behalf of our loyal Jewish allies who have already taken enough crap as it is — whom you and I both know you consider to be worth nothing more than shower soap; on behalf of everything good, pure and decent leftover in this world, since you don't seem to be planning on shutting up, dying, or both of the above any time soon, here's an advance request: For the love of God, Carter — cut the crap.
Even if Carter wasn't lying in accusing Condi Rice of lying about her dissuasion against his little "Let's Talk Things Over" pep talks with a group with a generation's worth of innocent Jewish blood on its hands, perhaps Condi should have not only encouraged Carter's fetishistic itch to rub shoulders with terrorist entities, but ran the extra mile by reserving a permanent stay for him at Guantanamo where can have all the time he needs to indulge it.
© Christian Hartsock
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