Politically-correct conservatives?

By Warner Todd Huston

"Lighten Up!"

That is what both Michelle Malkin (famed for her conservative views on immigration) and Wlady Pleszczynski (editorial director of the conservative magazine The American Spectator) have been told by hundreds of their conservative fans by email after their stern and humorless responses to Laura Bush's "funnin" at the White house Correspondent's Dinner earlier this week. And rightfully so, have the duo been so scolded.

First of all, don't imagine that I am worried what the left thinks of we conservatives. I could not care less if Michael Moore looks at Michelle and Wlady's lack of humor as some sort of "proof" of our untrustworthiness or an example of how we are not real people. However, this is what the Left says about us when they are excoriating us in front of the general public. And it is they, the general public, who needs to see that we are not sticks in the mud as the hatemongers on the Left attempt to paint us. Let's face it. The American people like their leader to be "real" to a certain degree.

Unfortunately, some conservatives have taken the bait and are being reeled in by leftist anglers as we speak. And it's a shame that we are confirming the dour portraits painted by the left to represent us in caricature.

Again, this is no lament that the left doesn't "like us," but one that bemoans the confirmation of the mangled picture of conservatives that the left sells the general pubic. I must remind Malkin and Pleszczynski that it is the general public, the voters, who we need to reach. And showing a stiff necked, no fun, stick in the mud attitude on something as silly as this Laura Bush appearance does us no good at all.

Let's look over some of the ridiculous comments from Wlady and Michelle in their respective Op Ed pieces.

Pleszczynski — "Laura's Saturday surprise was appalling. ... She described the three architects of the Iraq war as butchers and brutes..."

"Laura confirmed she was on MoveOn's payroll"

"That's reassuring: to be reminded of the twins' and their ghastly performance at the 2004 GOP convention"

"And I won't begin to analyze the Bush milking the male horse joke and what it says about the Bushes' cynical use of the religious right"

Man is THIS guy uptight or what? Not only does he miss the mark on the humor of the situation but he also takes a low shot at the Bush's children in the doing. Apparently, Mr. Pleszczynski doesn't remember the reverence people displayed for Chelsea during the Clinton years? Why is it OK to excoriate Mrs. Bush for a few offhanded jokes (given in a place where they are SUPPOSED to be given) but just dandy for him to attack the Bush's kids?

Malkin- "... her off-color stripper and horse jokes crossed the line. Can you blame Howard Stern for feeling peeved and perplexed? And let's face it: if Teresa ("I'm cheeky!") Heinz Kerry had delivered Mrs. Bush's First Lady Gone Mildly Wild routine, social conservative pundits would be up in arms over her bad taste and lack of dignity."

"The First Lady resorting to horse masturbation jokes is not much better than Whoopi Goldberg trafficking in dumb puns on the Bush family name. It was wholly unnecessary."

"I'd rather be a G-rated conservative who can only make my kids giggle than a South Park/Desperate Housewives conservative whose goal is getting Richard Gere and Jane Fonda to snicker. Giving the Hollyweird Left the last laugh is not my idea of success."

So, Malkin imagines that the Bush's only goal was to cozy up to the "Hollyweird Left"? I just don't see it. Bush is smart enough to know that the "Hollyweird Left" isn't going to like him if he stood on his head a spit nickels! And to equate Mrs. Bush's mostly innocent joshing to the vile, hateful garbage spewed by people such as Whoopi Goldberg ... it's just absurd is all that can be said.

One wonders if Malkin and Pleszczynski were suffering from an interesting new ailment that has beset many Opinion Editorialists in this day of instant communication. It's the Blogers conundrum. That ailment is called whatamIgunnawritetoday-itis. I'd hesitate to wonder aloud if Michelle and Wlady were hanging about and looking for that one little "different opinion" that might keep them in the limelight, but it is hard to take them seriously otherwise on this particular issue.

So, I just have to echo all the emailers that Wlady and Michelle have tsk tsked lately; Lighten up will ya?

© Warner Todd Huston