A trip to Iowa

GOP presidential forum

July 5, 2007
Fred Hutchison, RenewAmerica analyst

On June 29, I checked into my hotel in Des Moines, Iowa — the political capital of America. It was the night before the Republican Presidential Candidates Forum to be held on Saturday, June 30.

As I approached the lobby carrying a satchel of "We need Alan Keyes for President" fliers, I passed a group of people in formal clothes leaving the hotel. They were leaving a reception for Tom Tancredo, a presidential candidate.

My mischievous impulse was to hand a flier to Tom Tancredo to see the expression on his face and to provoke a comment — for Tancredo is very candid, blunt, and good with quick comebacks. But the hour was late, and it was too late to find him.

However, I later found out that there is a reservoir of positive sentiment for Alan Keyes among the volunteers for other candidates. In fact, everyone I spoke to at the forum remembers Alan and has positive memories of him.

I had three purposes for attending the forum: (1) hand out fliers; (2) meet people who might possibly be volunteers in Iowa, steer us to volunteers, or give us advice about Iowa politics; and (3) size up the candidates who spoke at the forum.

The battle of the fliers

Due to unexpected, arbitrary, and constantly changing rules and restrictions on passing out literature, I only managed to hand out 50 two-page color handouts.

The sponsors of the event had blackballed candidate Ron Paul through the use of constantly changing rules. Ron Paul came anyway to give his own separate speech in a place where they could not ban him. He brought with him the most incredible army of volunteers and supporters. I found myself standing outside the entrance in the midst of exiled Ron Paul volunteers to hand out fliers.

One Ron Paul volunteer was a former Alan Keyes volunteer. He gave me the name of a former Alan Keyes operative in Iowa.

Another Ron Paul volunteer was a libertarian who believes in conspiracy theories. I tried to explain to him why I am skeptical about conspiracy theories, but I do not think I dented his armor.

A bunch of state troopers showed up and told us we had to hand out fliers across the street. There were virtually no pedestrians across the street, but there were actors in hilarious costumes making fun of particular candidates. The convict in orange prison garb and a handcuff dangling from one hand sticks in my mind, as well as the cute giant dolphin. I did not understand their riff because they were across the street. I thought to myself, "I wish the convict and the dolphin could come over here and join us."

I also mused, "The organizers of this event must really hate Ron Paul, to push them across the street to join the convict and the dolphin." All the event volunteers I met were marvelous people, but there was something not quite right about those running the show.

Rather than debate constitutional law with four heavily armed troopers, I asked them, "Who is the person in charge who set these rules?" One said, "A woman in red." I went into the building to search for the mysterious woman in red to discuss the Bill of Rights concerning free speech and the use of public places. A gaggle of Ron Paul groupies tagged along behind me. What fun! To be the impromptu leader of a band of Ron Paul groupies!

I suddenly realized that I was playing the game stupidly. I looked around and saw that this was my golden moment for meeting people. I had shown the groupies how to handle the state trooper outrage — which they did successfully. The woman in red must have eventually folded, because the artificial restrictions on fliers were eventually removed. I decided to hand out the rest of my fliers at the Des Moines arts festival in the evening. I left the groupies to fight their battle with the lady in red and moved on to the more important business of meeting people as an ambassador for Dr. Keyes.

Meeting people

I headed straight for the display tables and talked to volunteers for other candidates. I felt accepted as a brother conservative and struck up friendly conversations with several of them. Some of those guys love Alan Keyes.

I was approached by Chuck Laudner, Executive Director of the Republican Party of Iowa. He is a very intelligent and distinguished gentleman and was pleased to hear that Alan might consider running for president. He agreed to give me guidance about Iowa politics when I get in touch with him.

I bumped into Tom Immermann, Senior Campaign Staff of Steve Rathje for Congress. Tom and I instantly related to one another like two peas in a pod. I did not have to sell him on Alan Keyes because he is already an admirer of Keyes. His candidate, Steve Rathje, is a very strong conservative.

Among the various contacts I made, two were former Keyes activists.

I was approached by a press photographer who asked me to hold up a Keyes flier and smile for the birdie. He took down information about me, about Keyes, and about the web sites pertaining to Keyes. I made sure he took a Keyes flier.

The speakers

Giuliani, McCain, and Fred Thompson were missing from the roster of speakers. I know the conservative organizers do not like Giuliani or McCain, and I could not help but wonder if they had manipulated the rules to keep them out as they did to Ron Paul.

There was no debate between candidates. It was a forum of speeches, plus questions asked by executive directors of the two sponsoring organizations. One of the organizations was Iowans for Tax Relief, so half the questions were about taxes.

The speakers all competed with one another to see who was the most conservative. Everyone's blood was up and their spirits were soaring. Wow! I have never seen the like in all my life. Conservative Valhalla! Yahoo! Boys and girls, we have an exciting and an amazing political party, despite its flaws!

Some of the speakers sounded to my ears like Alan Keyes wannabes. They could imitate Keyes' passion, conservative thunder, and bold expression of faith to some extent, but his intellectual depth and articulate speech were beyond their reach.

The recurring themes were keeping taxes low, curbing illegal immigration, the right to life, family values, marriage as union of one man and one woman, strong military, support for the troops, exhortations to fight terrorism, God in the public square, conservative judges, patriotism, and faith in God.

I shall list the speakers in the order of how well they did. The best speaker was the one I least recommend for president.

Mitt Romney, polished orator

On television, Mr. Romney has come across to me as too slick and too clever. In person, he impresses me as one of the best orators of our times. He manages to be personable and have gravitas at the same time. He seems both visionary and practical; family man and policy wonk. He has great one-liners and colorful anecdotes, which were Reaganesque. No one else I heard at the forum came close to him in eloquence and articulation. Although I do not believe he is a real conservative, he is selling himself as a conservative and is putting on a virtuoso performance as he does so.

I predict that Romney's religion of Mormonism will be a thornier proposition than the pundits predict. However, Romney's star is rising, and he will be hard to beat.

Mike Huckabee, happy warrior

Mike is the most likable candidate since the "I Like Ike" juggernaut of 1952. He tells more jokes than Reagan, and is uniquely gifted in the impromptu quip. He is enjoying himself as the happy warrior. Huckabee loves politics like Eric Liddell loved running.

There is a spiritual difference in Mr. Huckabee. When he talks about his faith in God, it comes across as something that goes beyond belief and commitment. God and the articles of faith are sacred to this former minister and true believer. When he speaks of the country and the family, the sense of sacredness, like a comforting umbrella, covers them. In an age where sacred things are trampled under foot, Huckabee is like water in the desert.

Huckabee is distilled conservatism on all the issues. At the same time, he offers a lot of creative solutions to the problems.

Although Huckabee is a longshot in beating Romney and Giuliani, don't be surprised if someone offers him the vice presidential slot on their ticket.

Tommy Thompson, tough guy

Tommy grew up on a Wisconsin dairy farm and knows more about bent-back work and true grit than most people. Indeed, he has a manly, tough-talking style that reminds me of John Wayne. He is a conservative's conservative and seems true blue on every imaginable subject. You can trust him to be a conservative.

Although Tommy does not have that sense of sacredness that Huckabee has, Thompson will put the fear of God into the wicked and squash politically correct nonsense with more relish than Huckabee — who opposes evil and makes fun of nonsense, but takes no pleasure in the demise of the wicked.

Thompson comes out of the bullpen with a punch of power that elates the audience with an intoxicating rush. However, he gradually wears out the listener with the constant pounding. He is like the boxer who only has a one-two punch.

At the Tommy Thompson table, a tough-guy supporter of Tommy adopted me as a side kick. The savvy tough guy and his professorial mascot. He rescued me from a disaster involving lost papers — and endless levity about that incident ensued. It was great fun and splendid tomfoolery. I told my buddy that Tommy is tough and manly. He thrust out his chest, strutted about, and said, "I like him because I am the same way."

Tom Tancredo and red meat

Tancredo is the candidate who throws red meat to the hungry lions. Although he is not a particularly good speaker, his blunt, passionate, unedited comments about amnesty and illegal aliens brought the crowd to a roar.

Tancredo insisted that he is not a one-issue candidate. He went through issue after issue and took pains to explain why he is more conservative than any other candidate. He made a great point of his lifetime ACU rating of 97% (97% percent of the time he votes conservative.) OK, Mr. Conservative, but can you lead?

Senator Brownback, Mr. Nice Guy

Sam Brownback is perfectly suited to the Senate. He is intelligent, sensitive, courtly, and nice in an American aw shucks sort of way. He is the type of guy you would introduce to your single sister. (You would go fishing with Huckabee, go to a prize fight with Tommy, and visit the southern border with Tancredo. You would go to the symphony with Romney.)

Brownback radiates a personal sweetness, and the mothers of America will want to hug him. But he seemed weak compared to the other candidates and has the poorest public speaking skills of the lot. So why is he running for president?

Well, he appears thoroughly conservative and is clearly a man of faith. His weakness for amnesty bills is his main soft spot. He obviously realized that and has backpedaled on the subject. However, I am hoping for his early withdrawal from the presidential race, because we need him in the Senate.

The sleep of the blessed

After the event, I was too exhausted, hot, and foot-weary to hike to the distant sun-baked park where the Des Moines Arts Festival was held. I imagined the artists and party people fried to a crisp in the cruel Iowa sun.

I returned to my hotel room, turned the air conditioner on high, flopped on the bed, and watched a TV show that was partly religious and partly patriotic. My heart filled with such love for this blessed country that I thought I would burst. I fell asleep — and slept the sleep of the blessed.

© Fred Hutchison