Rev. Austin Miles
MilesTones - in praise of Obama
By Rev. Austin Miles
July 29, 2014

Yes, you read that headline correctly.

(Brief pause while readers pick themselves up off the floor.)

Despite immense criticism for virtually everything he has done, Obama has more than made up for his unpopular actions by popularizing the Fist Bump, a greeting without shaking someone's hand which is an action that can spread germs, especially during cold and flu season, which would cause Howie Mandel to panic.

Obama, who loves America (we know because he said so), wants to prevent the spread of germs that can make his subjects sick. This is admirable. The fist bump is the answer to those problems even though it was barely noticed until Obama demonstrated it as he greeted people on TV until it finally caught on, thereby saving America.

Knocking Knuckles (fist bump) instead of open caressed hand shakes (with nobody knowing where those hands have been), is the sanest thing The One has ever promoted. This is impressive.

History shows that the handshake originated back in medieval times when strangers would approach one another, then grab each others' opposite hand to be certain that the hand did not contain a weapon such as a knife. Then they would feel secure enough to talk to one another civilly.

Because of repetition and habit, this gesture would eventually become a friendly act when greeting a stranger. This was all well and good until the study of harmful bacteria and germs in general suggested that shaking hands was not a good idea since hands pick up disease-causing bacteria from door knobs, counter surfaces and the use of toilet paper which all becomes part of that handshake. Ugh!

Now we can all understand Monk, the TV detective with his idiosyncrasies and hysteria over anything appearing unsanitary. That is why his assistant brought packs and packs of hand-wipes to give him anytime he felt he had been contaminated. Wise man.

Thus cometh the fist bump to the rescue, which originated with the in-group, meaning those in a sub-culture amongst rock bands, groupies, Hollywood stars, pot lovers and professors, who have hop-scotched over social norms and created their own.

Hooray! Obama is preventing the spread of germs by bringing the fist bump into everyday life. Yes, he did something positive. History shall record this sacred moment which was documented by Associated Press on this day (7/28/14), with the headline: Study: Fist Bumps More Hygienic Than Handshakes.

Monk will rejoice as well as the nation as we all celebrate a good decision emanating from The White House in the midst of chaos.


Photo Caption: Obama Saves America

Photo Credit:

© Rev. Austin Miles


The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of RenewAmerica or its affiliates.
(See RenewAmerica's publishing standards.)

Click to enlarge

Rev. Austin Miles

Sadly, Rev. Austin Miles passed away on April 12, 2023, at age 89. His memorial service was held June 3, 2023. His obituary can be read here.

He has broken many major stories including the required study of Islam in the public schools, and reviews books, movies and concerts which brought him an award from University of California at Fullerton for Critical Review. He was a writer/researcher and technical consultant for the multi-award winning series "Ancient Secrets of The Bible," which debuted on CBS TV and has been in constant re-runs since.


Receive future articles by Rev. Austin Miles: Click here

More by this author


Stephen Stone
The most egregious lies Evan McMullin and the media have told about Sen. Mike Lee

Siena Hoefling
Protect the Children: Update with VIDEO

Stephen Stone
Flashback: Dems' fake claim that Trump and Utah congressional hopeful Burgess Owens want 'renewed nuclear testing' blows up when examined

Cliff Kincaid
De-Nazification and de-communization in Russia

Marsha West
When Christians tolerate anything and everybody, you cannot guard the flock against wolves

Selwyn Duke
Medical examiner’s office source: “Only 1 to 2%” of “COVID deaths” were really COVID

Michael Bresciani
Canadians stand up for their children – When will America stand?

James Lambert
Why illegal immigration negatively affects our country

Rev. Mark H. Creech
Revelation Chapter 16: A world shaken and pummeled to the ground

Victor Sharpe
November 2, 1956: A day and a month that changed the world

Jerry Newcombe
Communist goals and America

Madeline Crabb
The importance of dress codes and standards

Curtis Dahlgren
'Inside American Education;' beware professional liars

Cherie Zaslawsky
The firebombing of Maui: Part Two

Cherie Zaslawsky
The firebombing of Maui: Part One
  More columns


Click for full cartoon
More cartoons


Matt C. Abbott
Chris Adamo
Russ J. Alan
Bonnie Alba
Chuck Baldwin
Kevin J. Banet
J. Matt Barber
Fr. Tom Bartolomeo
. . .
[See more]

Sister sites