Carey Roberts
Women who batter, proudly
By Carey Roberts
Chivalrous men resist the image, but it's a problem that has become so pervasive that we must summon up the courage to face it — an epidemic of women who pummel their husbands and boyfriends.
A recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control found that among physically aggressive couples, 71% of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were female. And last year Renee McDonald of Baylor University published a study in the Journal of Family Psychology with almost identical results.
What's going on, ladies?
The problem isn't just gals who clean their boyfriends' clock in a drunken rage. These high-testosterone females abuse their men and then come clean with a swaggering braggadocio.
A few months ago ABC Primetime did an experiment. The producers hired two actors — male and female — to feign partner violence in a public park. They wanted to see what passers-by would do when they spotted the woman pounding her boyfriend with a rolled-up newspaper. [http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=2741047]
Most persons paused, then cast a "it's not my problem" shrug. But one young lass was caught on camera doing a pumped-fist "atta-woman" salute. You go, girl!
That would never happen in real life, right?
Consider superstar singer Amy Winehouse. Married to Blake Fielder-Civil, she now admits that she uses him as a "punch-bag." "I'll beat up Blake when I'm drunk. ... If he says one thing I don't like then I'll chin him," she brags.
I recently came across a website called Jezebel.com. Jezebel is one of those tell-all websites run by women who flaunt tattoos that declare, "I know what I want and I know how to get it."
Recently a Jezebel editor named Slut Machine posted a cheeky piece called, "Have you Ever Beat up a Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have." Let's put it this way — the column brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, "female empowerment."
Ms. Machine confided that one her co-editors had overheard her boyfriend flirting on the phone, "so she slapped the phone out of his hands and hit him in the face and neck" Another smacked a guy when he tenderly revealed to her "he thought he had breast cancer." As an afterthought she wrote, "that one made us laugh really hard."
[http://jezebel.com/gossip/domestic-disturbances/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have-294383.php]
I was certain that such brazen admissions would draw howls of protest from persons who know full well that "there's no excuse for domestic violence." Well, this is what they said:
Probationer announced to her on-line Sisterhood, "Yeah, I've punched the shit out of a guy. But I don't like to brag."
Fromthetulleshed bragged, "I've had many satisfying dreams where I beat up my ex.
If I saw him again, I don't think I'd be able to restrain myself."
Some thought assaulting a guy was downright hilarious: "I bounced an alarm clock off my husband's head from across the room once. I haven't been able to find a decent alarm clock since," lamented Kwindsorfish.
And Sparkle proved you don't have to be physical to be abusive: "I try so so SO hard to do the sitting silently trick. ... But I just couldn't keep myself from laughing after like a minute thirty of 'ignoring' him. It just makes me too giddy to think that I can have that much power by doing absolutely nothing at all."
When it came to the fact that female abusers often use weapons or the element of surprise to compensate for their smaller size, the women seemed clueless. JoanCrawford revealed, "My Ex told me his former lover beat him. I was a bit startled when I met her. He is 6'3" about 195 lbs.; she was 5' and appeared to weigh literally 98 lbs. Battered men? The question is, are these men really physically afraid?"
Creative excuses were de rigueur. Goupie reasoned, "I slap my boyfriend on a semi-regular basis. It always hurts me more than it hurts him. And he usually agrees that he deserves it." Azi's comment, "I have to say I think he may have had it coming," was the most common pretext.
And Crocodile Tears of remorse were shed by the bucket-full. Washionfore confessed, "I have slapped a man down before, quite hard, but I love him so I felt bad because, well, it's abusive."
Actress Sally Field recently received an Emmy Award for best actress. During her acceptance speech she boasted that women are of the peace-loving kind, crudely shouting, "And, let's face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no [expletive deleted] wars in the first place."
But based on the gleeful comments of the naughty Jezebel girls, somehow I don't think Miss Field's act is ready for prime time.
© Carey Roberts
Chivalrous men resist the image, but it's a problem that has become so pervasive that we must summon up the courage to face it — an epidemic of women who pummel their husbands and boyfriends.
A recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control found that among physically aggressive couples, 71% of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were female. And last year Renee McDonald of Baylor University published a study in the Journal of Family Psychology with almost identical results.
What's going on, ladies?
The problem isn't just gals who clean their boyfriends' clock in a drunken rage. These high-testosterone females abuse their men and then come clean with a swaggering braggadocio.
A few months ago ABC Primetime did an experiment. The producers hired two actors — male and female — to feign partner violence in a public park. They wanted to see what passers-by would do when they spotted the woman pounding her boyfriend with a rolled-up newspaper. [http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=2741047]
Most persons paused, then cast a "it's not my problem" shrug. But one young lass was caught on camera doing a pumped-fist "atta-woman" salute. You go, girl!
That would never happen in real life, right?
Consider superstar singer Amy Winehouse. Married to Blake Fielder-Civil, she now admits that she uses him as a "punch-bag." "I'll beat up Blake when I'm drunk. ... If he says one thing I don't like then I'll chin him," she brags.
I recently came across a website called Jezebel.com. Jezebel is one of those tell-all websites run by women who flaunt tattoos that declare, "I know what I want and I know how to get it."
Recently a Jezebel editor named Slut Machine posted a cheeky piece called, "Have you Ever Beat up a Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have." Let's put it this way — the column brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, "female empowerment."
Ms. Machine confided that one her co-editors had overheard her boyfriend flirting on the phone, "so she slapped the phone out of his hands and hit him in the face and neck" Another smacked a guy when he tenderly revealed to her "he thought he had breast cancer." As an afterthought she wrote, "that one made us laugh really hard."
[http://jezebel.com/gossip/domestic-disturbances/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have-294383.php]
I was certain that such brazen admissions would draw howls of protest from persons who know full well that "there's no excuse for domestic violence." Well, this is what they said:
Probationer announced to her on-line Sisterhood, "Yeah, I've punched the shit out of a guy. But I don't like to brag."
Fromthetulleshed bragged, "I've had many satisfying dreams where I beat up my ex.
If I saw him again, I don't think I'd be able to restrain myself."
Some thought assaulting a guy was downright hilarious: "I bounced an alarm clock off my husband's head from across the room once. I haven't been able to find a decent alarm clock since," lamented Kwindsorfish.
And Sparkle proved you don't have to be physical to be abusive: "I try so so SO hard to do the sitting silently trick. ... But I just couldn't keep myself from laughing after like a minute thirty of 'ignoring' him. It just makes me too giddy to think that I can have that much power by doing absolutely nothing at all."
When it came to the fact that female abusers often use weapons or the element of surprise to compensate for their smaller size, the women seemed clueless. JoanCrawford revealed, "My Ex told me his former lover beat him. I was a bit startled when I met her. He is 6'3" about 195 lbs.; she was 5' and appeared to weigh literally 98 lbs. Battered men? The question is, are these men really physically afraid?"
Creative excuses were de rigueur. Goupie reasoned, "I slap my boyfriend on a semi-regular basis. It always hurts me more than it hurts him. And he usually agrees that he deserves it." Azi's comment, "I have to say I think he may have had it coming," was the most common pretext.
And Crocodile Tears of remorse were shed by the bucket-full. Washionfore confessed, "I have slapped a man down before, quite hard, but I love him so I felt bad because, well, it's abusive."
Actress Sally Field recently received an Emmy Award for best actress. During her acceptance speech she boasted that women are of the peace-loving kind, crudely shouting, "And, let's face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no [expletive deleted] wars in the first place."
But based on the gleeful comments of the naughty Jezebel girls, somehow I don't think Miss Field's act is ready for prime time.
© Carey Roberts
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