God-evolution debate won't quit

By Grant Swank

"There are no permanent victories in politics," a defender of Intelligent Design said. "You do not get paradigm shifts overnight. Whether the ultimate victory is today or it's tomorrow or it's two years from now, people demand that they get open discussion of this issue."

This was in response to the Ohio Board of Education voting 11 to 4 to "toss out a mandate that 10th grade biology classes include critical analysis of evolution and an accompanying model lesson plan," according to the New York Times' Jodi Rudoren.

The whole matter is still in flux and will continue to be. The reason? Because there are intelligent persons who know that Charles Darwin's theory is full of holes. Large holes. Extra large holes.

I believe, first of all, evolution is a crock.

It takes a lot of faith to believe that I came from an ameba. A lot of faith!

So evolution should be taught in Faith Class, otherwise known in parochial schools as Religion Class.

It's a crazy world we live in. Crazier every day. But one of the craziest notions that ever came down the pike is evolution. Who in his right mind would ever believe that the complicated homo sapien derived from a speck? That's getting the larger from the smaller.

When I was in school, we were taught that one of the fundamental postulates is that one cannot get the greater from the smaller. Yet that is what evolution is all about — greater from the smaller. Now that's a crock.

Evolution is furthermore an insult to the intelligent brain.

That's why the world is crazy when the so-called intelligentsia defend this notion called "evolution." The PhDs do that. The professors do that. The textbook writers and so forth do that. They all get in their clique and stroke one another with this Alice from Wonderland fancy that we all came from a speck.

Then they throw in the Big Bang Whatever. This complicated universe and planet Earth just blew into place. There's another nuthouse one for you.

So, back to Faith Class, evolution and Darwin and the boys need to be put in Faith Class. It takes as much faith to believe in evolution as it does in angels and demons and an invisible God. It takes as much faith to believe in Darwin's spin as it does to believe that Jesus fed thousands with a kid's lunch.

Now at least Religion Class is up front about its basic postulate. It starts with faith. Religion Class makes no bones about it. The instructor starts with telling pupils that they have to believe.

So Christians, for example, say they have faith there is a God of the Bible, angels, demons, heaven, hell, afterlife, saving grace, judgment, and so forth.

They don't try to prove it. In fact, Christians say that finally all that can't be proven for if mortal could prove it, mortal would be God.

So unabashedly Christians start with faith and say that if you don't want to have the faith, that's your choice. You have the decision-making powers to cancel out faith for non-faith and that is your right as a free will being.

But when it comes to evolution, the adherents make us hold to that nonsense as a fact. They press it upon us as evangelists of Darwin. And of course it's not a fact any more than fairy tales are facts. Evolution is a theory, and an exceptionally wide-eyed foolish one at that. Nevertheless, it is a mere theory as much as tapioca pudding causes Milky Ways is a theory.

So evolution should be taught in Faith Class if it's going to be put upon the students in public schools. It does not certainly belong in science class. It's not a science. It's not a proven fact. Now of course if there is a chapter in science class about theories, then evolution can be presented as a theory as much as Alice in Wonderland can be presented as a theory. But nothing more than a theory.

Yes, the world is crazy. And getting crazier still.

© Grant Swank