In Vlad we're trussed

By Johnny D. Symon

For anyone out there who noticed that last week's ed failed to surface, I offer the following: All my life I've been known as the guy who cracks funnies, even when situations are potentially deadly or hostile, in fact these are the times when I'm most prone to inject some kind of laughing bug. To laugh in the face of adversity must be one of God's greatest gifts to human kind, don't you think? But you know? I've been around many people who can't even laugh behind adversity's back. Every time I look at them they appear sour faced. Inevitably this brand of human has a tendency to gripe and moan about the most trivial matters. I recall innumerable occasions where I've tried to make them laugh, but to no avail. Each time my little jest returned empty-handed I found myself laughing alone. For me those experiences and those people have formed yet another part in the puzzle of life. How anyone can get through the day without laughing at something, anything, is beyond me.

But last week I discovered that I'd temporarily joined the club. I'm not trying to say that I'd lost my sense of humor, for I hadn't, but due to a mountain of work and the increased effort I was expending on my years-long investigation of a series of fraudulent invention promotion firms, my little brain consolidated it's meagre powers in just two directions. A situation that kinda reminded me of those numerous occasions in the Star Trek series when The Enterprise came under attack and was hit so hard that Scotty would have to shut down most of its system, leaving only the most important sections running.

I've written this before and I'll have to say it again, that due to legal reasons I cannot divulge all the details of my investigation, but this time I'm saying it with increased conviction because those fraudulent invention promotion firms have all been forced closed. The action began last January and looks to be a most decisive one. I've studied most of the legal documents pertaining to this case and feel most glad not to be in the shoes of the "Contempt" Defendants. For the first time in history those companies and their owners are facing oblivion.

Normally this news would have me dancing around the room, but through careful study of the latest action I realized the possibility that the kingpin behind this massive fraud is not mentioned. So in order to discover why, I last week emulated Scotty and dropped everything, including humor, to determine what exactly was going on. I dropped the humor and any idea of publishing my latest ed to achieve that answer, which I now have ...

Money, power, and friends in high places, can sometimes help to protect the guilty, and when this happens it proves yet again that there are Laws and there are "laws!" ...

When quite a number of Spanish ETA terrorists appeared in front of the Supreme Court over the past year they sneered at the Judges, laughed, and waved at each other and their friends who had come to lend support. They smiled as they threatened the judiciary, and showed no sign of nerves or fear, yet they faced sentences of potentially thousands of years. This kind of sentence has proven to be somewhat of a joke itself; one ETA terrorist, De Juana Chaos, originally received 3000 years for killing 25 innocent human beings. It was then reduced to 96, then 6, to 3, and by next year I predict that the animal will be free and easy.

But the main point behind what I'm saying is regarding the jovial and fearless behavior of the ETA terrorists in court. They felt free to have fun in court, showing contempt for the Judge, jury, and the friends and families of the victims because they knew something that the present itinerant Spanish government did not want anyone to know, for according to ETA itself, Zapatero and his henchmen have been secretly negotiating with them since 2002. The terrorists therefore believed within themselves that, like De Juana Chaos, they too would experience freedom in the not too distant future. Recent events however have prevented the leaders of the new self-made Banana Republic from fulfilling their secret promises and plans. The "permanent" ceasefire announced by ETA, well over a year ago, is finally over.

As with ETA terrorists, the owners and operators of those fraudulent invention promotion firms, now defunct, year after year ripped off their innocent clients but showed no sense of fear or foreboding. They treated their wronged clients with contempt and again the ETA principle applies; they did not fear the long arm of the Law because they knew one or two of it's fingers! Why those fingers could not do the business for them this time around must remain a little secret of mine until further notice. I want this legal action to bite down and tear out the throat of those mindless beasts once and for all.

When I highlighted in several eds over the past three years, the exploits of a corrupt department of the USPTO who did everything in their power to protect the guilty, I only revealed the tip of the iceberg. The large mass underneath sea-level remains. Not even global warming will help it to disappear. So while the court gets on with its work, finally without hindrance, my work deepens by the fathom. Justice will not be done until the top dogs get tethered. And I'll say this with all certainty, that they will also go down with the ship, the ship that was sunk by its owners own personal iceberg.

Now I'll change the subject a little and concentrate my thoughts on something else I don't like ...

I seem to have made it part of my life's work to warn the world of Russia, our greatest enemy. For several years I've written on the subject and watched as it's leadership pull out their little tricks to serve on their enemies. The latest escapade involved Nicholas Sarkozy, the new French President, he's the French equivalent of what we'd regard as Conservative. Vladimir Putin would have preferred Segolene Royal, but due to an ever increasing awareness throughout Western Europe of the scourge of Socialism, the French people thought better of it at the ballot box. Germany's Angela Merkel announced last week that she would like to see the proposed European Constitution put to an end, the French did not solely oust the Socialist candidate recently, they also rejected through referendum that self-same Constitution.

I see Angela Merkel as the sharpest leader in Western Europe, and if her proposal is adopted most right thinking Europeans will have a lot to thank her for. But Sarkozy is my main subject in hand. Straight after a private meeting with Poot he appeared before the Press and cameras looking as drunk as a lord. He was so out of it he strongly resembled President Zapatero of the New Spanish Banana Republic ... I ain't kidding. This kind of behavior is normal for Zapatonto, but very out of character for Sarkozy. He'd made the mistake of regarding Poot as a friend and ally.

While Angela Merkel, to my mind, is the sharpest European leader, Poot is the most cunning, in fact this peculiar gift of his to fool all of the people all of the time, places him, again in my own opinion, above and beyond all Western leaders. I may not like the guy, but I respect him for being a worthy enemy. While all eyes are on Iran and its nuclear ideals, and the UN threatens to place sanctions on that Islamic State if it does not conform, Russia, its biggest ally, has its nuclear missiles pointing Westward, yet no sanctions are forthcoming.

I've always held the view that the finest way to deal with Iran is through negotiation not threats. In fact I believe that we should go overboard to reach an agreement, for the simple reason that if we gain a friend in Iran, we will have won a major round against Russia, but not only that, we would have won over Russia's greatest weapon against relative peace in the Middle East ... along with Syria of course.

I strongly support President G W Bush's plans for several missile bases in Eastern Europe but foresee increasing trouble over it. I do, however, regard the outbreak of civil war in Palestine as an opportunity to win over both Syria and Iran. Both countries share a common dislike of the Palestinian people. If I was G W Bush I'd tell Iran that as far as I was concerned they could continue on with their plans as long as they dropped their wipe-Israel-off-the-map idea. I'd also put pressure on the UN to drop their 40-year-long refusal to recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital. This should provide enough leverage to ensure that the bad guys in Palestine make short work of themselves.

I do feel for all the innocents who are caught in the crossfire and trapped in a form of Palestinian hell. I reckon we should offer them asylum in the West, so long as they agree to undergo a stringent polygraph test: "What do you think of Osama Bin Laden? Al qaeda? 9/11? Islamic terrorism? Jihad? Kamikaze? etc. ... Are you for or against them?" The ones who pass the test will find themselves facing a good future, but those who fail and remain will get what they deserve.

If you've read me this far you'll already have ascertained that I ain't the kind of guy to invite home for dinner, even if I do have some kind of humor ability. But when decisions have to be made I always look out for the most decisive answers, whereas the majority of our world's leaders nowadays prefer to beat around the bush. And you know? there are decisive answers to quell conflict in the world. Our present troubles are part of the striving to achieve a decisive answer:

Several world-class leaders dream of controlling the world. They'd like to be in complete charge. That's not my thoughts, it's the Bible's. So I reckon the best way to deal with our present latter-day problems is to elect one demigod from that list and have done with it early. A form of synthetic world peace would be sure to follow, for most troubles are caused by factional warfare, and we'd all therefore rest in the knowledge that our chosen world leader would be getting his just reward in the future.

I already have a list of candidates whom I'd like to see stand for election, and I know them well enough to see that they regard other leaders as the lesser cooks who are spoiling their broth. I want to see just one geek on that list awarded the big ladle by a majority world vote. We'd then slip from racism to wrathism. It's kinda like going to the dentist; there's no point in delaying matters, it's always best to get it over with straight away.

Whatever strategy our leaders take independently, it's sure to be the wrong one, because that strategy will no doubt conflict with the strategy of another. With one strategist alone on planet earth there can be no conflict. I therefore nominate my worst enemy, Vladimir Putin, as the First Ruler of the World. I trust you'll all consider placing your vote on Poot too. Let's make his dream come true, and consequently his end a future certainty.

I recently placed another nomination on Dr Alan Keyes for President of the USA, however this nomination is a serious one. I believe our man would achieve what most Conservatives have begun to see as an impossibility. He'd reconstitute the Constitution. He'd republish the Republic, and he'd bring true order to the courts and the rule of Law. Dr Alan Keyes is my man-of-the-moment. And despite the life-long fact that I trust no one, not even myself, I trust this man far more than the rest. If America can be brought back from the brink, here's the man who can lead the way. Besides, I kind of suspect that Alan Keyes shares my views on Vladimir Putin, and if he does it's yet another reason to place my trust in him.

© Johnny D. Symon