Arlen Williams
Arlen's GOP Debate Awards, Reagan Library, 9-7-2011
By Arlen Williams
September 9, 2011

Another cattle show at the fair and here are the results in my head.

  • Michelle Bachmann ~ Best GOP presidential debate presentation

  • Newt Gingrich ~ (whom I would not want as president) 2nd best performance and best evocation of the late actor, John Houseman

  • Rick Santorum ~ best answers for someone still seemingly steeped in the past of his former congressional career

  • Rick Perry ~ (whom I would not want as president) most beguiling voice and backed by the most hoodwinkers and scammers of conservatives and Tea Partiers, who turn the tables on us by leveraging off our momentum to support Sovereignty-robbing transnationalist, corporatocratic (sorry, that's the word), and foreign "state capitalist" (i.e., fascistic, neo-Marxist, and/or Islamist) entities, anything for a buck, and who are named Koch, Armey, and Norquist

  • Ron Paul ~ (whom I would like to see president in an alternative history novel) most improved, which should not have been difficult

  • Mitt Romney ~ (whom yada not yada) best at demonstrating his consistency throughout his political career, at being Mitt Romney

  • Herman Cain ~ (oh heck no) best performance from a former official of the inherently corrupt, interest thieving, currency debauching, and infuriating mega-mega-money black ops burgling cartel for foreign central bankers, the Federal Reserve

  • Jon Huntsman ~ (not hardly) best denial of actually scientific, atmospheric testing by anyone who was or was not recently Barack Obama's U.S. Ambassador to the People's Republic of China

  • Sarah Palin ~ best recent performance by an undeclared candidate I think maybe

  • Thaddeus McCotter ~ could at least have let him play guitar during commercial breaks

  • Buddy Roemer ~ give the guy a break, someone should be there to draw a few geographically motivated southern votes away from Rick Perry

  • Ronald Reagan Presidential Library ~ coolest library, what other one has a big jet just hanging there?

  • Chris Matthews ~ my personal gratitude for reminding me to turn off MSNBC just after

...and finally, the Grand Prize Winner:

  • Agenda-21 and Globalist Collectivism ~ most pervasively Sovereignty-usurping, America-destroying political insurgency of our time never mentioned by the captured mass media, nor pols courting big money from communitarian-kleptocratic megabanksters and tycoon transnationalists, and certainly not something to be brought up in a presidential debate, because that would start to wreck everything

For more, see Kelleigh Nelson's "Phony Right-Wing" series on the GOP presidential candidates.

© Arlen Williams


The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of RenewAmerica or its affiliates.
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