Father’s Day is meant to be a celebration, a joyful recognition of the men who helped shape us, taught us, sacrificed for us, and loved us. But for far too many, this day is marked not by celebration but sorrow, especially for fathers who are estranged from their children.

This kind of estrangement is more common than most realize. Studies show that up to one in four adult children are estranged from their father at some point. Fathers are nearly twice as likely as mothers to experience the pain of being cut off. For some, the silence has lasted years. For others, it’s a new and unfamiliar heartache, raw and disorienting.

It’s the kind of hurt we rarely talk about, but it runs profoundly deep.

The movie Mrs. Doubtfire gives a surprising glimpse into this suffering. Robin Williams plays a father who, after a divorce, is allowed only limited visitation with his children. The separation is unbearable, so he disguises himself as an elderly British nanny to stay close to them.

While the premise is comedic, the heart of the film is anything but funny. It captures the desperate love of a father, willing to humiliate himself completely to be near his children. At one point in the film, Williams’ character says, “My children are my life.” That particular line in the film cuts through the humor and speaks a truth many fathers understand all too well.

It’s easy to laugh at the antics of Mrs. Doubtfire, but behind the laughter is a father’s longing, a loss that millions feel in real life, especially on what is supposed to be their day of honor – Father’s Day.

I know this terrible pain personally – not only as a father but also as a son.

Years ago, I became estranged from my father. Oh, how I loved him! But I felt that he had slighted me one too many times. Whether right or wrong, I hardened my heart and cut off all contact. For more than two years, we had no relationship.

Then, something happened that broke me.

My daughter, then in her teens, went through a rebellious phase and left home. I was devastated. I grieved as I had never grieved before. One day, I dropped to my knees in prayer and poured out my heart to God, begging Him to bring my daughter back.

While in that posture of desperation and brokenness, the Lord impressed something on my heart that I will never forget: “Why should I bring your daughter home to you when you haven’t spoken to your father in two years?”

It hit me like a lightning bolt.

I stood up, got in my car, and drove straight to my hometown, which was about an hour away. When I pulled into the driveway of the house, my father was on a lawn tractor cutting the grass. As soon as he saw me getting out of the car, he stopped the mower and ran to meet me. We embraced, threw our arms around each other, and wept. We didn’t hash out the past. We didn’t dissect who was right or wrong. We just knew we loved each other, and that was all that mattered.

In that moment, I learned something crucial: if a relationship is to be meaningful, there must be room for grace, tolerance, and plenty of forgiveness.

I once heard it said, “When we are children, we idolize our parents. When we are teenagers, we demonize them. But when we become adults, we humanize them.” As adults, we finally come to understand our parents are not perfect. They are human – just like we are. They need the same mercy and grace we hope our children will someday extend to us.

Most father-child estrangements do eventually get resolved. One recent Cornell University study found that about 70% of these broken relationships are repaired over time. Nevertheless, there is even greater hope. God specializes, as no other, in the business of peacemaking and reconciliation. Nothing is impossible with God – nothing.

But usually, somebody has to take the first step.

To fathers: don’t stop hoping. Keep the door open. Pray, pray, pray. If it is possible, reach out, even if it hurts. Whatever you do, try to live in a way that leaves room for your child to return.

To sons and daughters: maybe it’s time to reconsider. Maybe your father wasn’t perfect. Maybe he failed. But perhaps he’s also been waiting, hoping, and longing for just a word, a phone call, another chance.

I do not mean to minimize the complexity of such things. Although nothing is impossible with God, sometimes, for the sake of peace, boundaries must be observed. The Scripture admonishes, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).

This Father’s Day, let’s not only celebrate good fathers but also seek to rebuild what has been broken. As the Old Testament says, “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers” (Malachi 4:6). That’s the heart of God – and that’s a hope worth maintaining.