Curtis Dahlgren
"My name is Saul," he said (a Classic)
FacebookTwitterGoogle+
By Curtis Dahlgren
December 23, 2013

THREE DAYS before Christmas, I walked into a bar. I looked around, but no one was there, though the Packers were playing to a full house. After awhile a bartender appeared, all bubbly and bright, and I ordered a beer. As she popped the top, a stranger came in, dusting off snow, kind of nondescript. He had nary a smile, and for some reason he seemed older than he looked (though I'm not too good at judging the cover of a book).

I SAID "HOWDY" and he said "Shalom, or, that is to say, hello, more or less." I couldn't place the guy's accent, but he certainly didn't look Nordic, so I said:

"You from around here?"

"Not hardly," he said with half a smile.

So I said as I stared, "So where are you from? Not that it matters, but . . ."

He turned, as if looking right through the plate glass mirror behind the bar, thinking I guess. Just as he started to speak, who should appear but the bubbly bartender. "What'll you have, Bud?" said she, and says he:

"Have you any Mid Eastern wines from about 40 A.D.? If so, I'll have it."

"Not in this place," she laughed. "Would you settle for a Mogen David?" And he says:

"Close enough! I know how to abound and how to be abased."

"Hey, that's pretty good," I said. "What do you do? Are you a writer or what?"

"I'm retired," he says. He stuck out his hand and says "My name is Paul. Some people knew me as Saul. Of Tarsus."

We shook hands and I said, "My name is Curt, but some people call me the crazy woodcutter. Because." And he says:

"I can relate, I think. That is to say, I used to be a tent maker on the side, and some people thought that's all I was."

"Let me guess," I said. "You were on Reality TV. Or were a TV evangelist. Before they got such a bad reputation?"

"Close, but before TV," says he.

I began to wonder if this guy was sick, so I just said, "You're the Apostle Paul." And he says:

"How did you ascertain that so quick? Quickly, I mean?"

I looked around, but no one was there, not even the bartender (she must have stomping the grapes yet). I managed to catch Paul's eye and said, "Well, let me hear a few lines. Something you've written."

"God gave them over to a reprobate mind, being filled with fornication, wickedness, covetousness, and maliciousness; full of envy, hatred, deceit, and malignity; whisperers, backbiters, proud, disobedient to parents;
without understanding or natural affection, liars, and unmerciful debaters; who, knowing the judgment of God – that those who commit such things are not worthy of immortality – not only do the same, but have pleasure in those who
do them too!"

"Sounds judgmental,"
I said with a smile and a sip of my beer. "Before I go home, I'll buy you that Mogen David if you can recite the first sentence of your letter to Rome without taking a breath" (I finally got a laugh out of him). "But seriously, what is 'malignity'?"

"'Malignity,' from 'malignus' – 'bad' or 'wicked'other words from this family including 'malice,' 'malaise,' and 'malignant'; but the simplest way to define 'malignity' is 'TROUBLE' – as in 'here comes trouble,' that is to say, a popular culture out of control like a malignant growth, so to speak," he said.

I took a quick glance at the wide-screen and around the room, and then I said:

"Assuming for a minute that you're the Apostle Paul, where have you been?"

[TO BE CONTINUED]


© Curtis Dahlgren

 

The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of RenewAmerica or its affiliates.
(See RenewAmerica's publishing standards.)

Click to enlarge

Curtis Dahlgren

Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton... (more)

Subscribe

Receive future articles by Curtis Dahlgren: Click here

More by this author

 

Stephen Stone
The most egregious lies Evan McMullin and the media have told about Sen. Mike Lee

Siena Hoefling
Protect the Children: Update with VIDEO

Stephen Stone
Flashback: Dems' fake claim that Trump and Utah congressional hopeful Burgess Owens want 'renewed nuclear testing' blows up when examined

Cliff Kincaid
The best Christmas bargain: A free Ukraine

Steve A. Stone
The man from The Perfect Place

Curtis Dahlgren
Orwell and Hubbard; a Brit and an American writer

Rev. Mark H. Creech
Revelation Chapter 6: The deceptive rider on the white horse

Cliff Kincaid
Saving America by saving Ukraine

Jerry Newcombe
Cancelling the “most wonderful time of the year?”

Judi Caler
Bluffing their way to an Article V Convention

Paul Cameron
The Marriage Equality Act in light of gay sex rings and molestations in group homes

Michael Bresciani
Why Libs, Dems, LGBT and Trans activists can’t identify the source of their own deep confusion

Rev. Mark H. Creech
Rev. Mark Creech issues statement on Senate passage of ‘Respect for Marriage Act’

Tom DeWeese
What we can learn from a red tide

Selwyn Duke
The new voting system that gave Dems a GOP House seat is dangerous. Here’s why.
  More columns

Cartoons


Click for full cartoon
More cartoons

RSS feeds

News:
Columns:

Columnists

Matt C. Abbott
Chris Adamo
Russ J. Alan
Bonnie Alba
Chuck Baldwin
Kevin J. Banet
J. Matt Barber
Fr. Tom Bartolomeo
. . .
[See more]

Sister sites