By
Curtis Dahlgren
October 19, 2024
"Never toss away anything you get up to write in the middle of the night." – anon
KALAMITY HARRIS identifies as a super hero, but she can't find a phone booth.
She can't wait to be in charge of the CIA, whatever that is.
Generally speaking, she doesn't speak like a general or a Commander in Chief.
She speaks five languages, none of which ever existed before.
She was a crack author before crack was cool.
She's the toast of the town, but a little black around the edges.
She has three on the tree, but she's stuck in second gear.
The barn light's on, but the cows never came home.
Her silo doesn't have a roof on it, and the ladder doesn't go all the way to the top, bless her cotton pickin' heart.
P.S. Tim who? Uffda.
PPS: The Lord doesn't like people who speak evil of dignities, but indignities are another matter. May God have mercy.
© Curtis Dahlgren
Curtis Dahlgren
Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton...
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Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton. In the intro to The Fenton Bible, Fenton said:
"I was in '53 a young student in a course of education for an entirely literary career, but with a wider basis of study than is usual. . . . In commerce my life has been passed. . . . Indeed, I hold my commercial experience to have been my most important field of education, divinely prepared to fit me to be a competent translator of the Bible, for it taught me what men are and upon what motives they act, and by what influences they are controlled. Had I, on the other hand, lived the life of a Collegiate Professor, shut up in the narrow walls of a library, I consider that I should have had my knowledge of mankind so confined to glancing through a 'peep-hole' as to make me totally unfit for [my life's work]."
In 1971-72 Curtis did some writing for the Badger Herald and he is listed as a University of Wisconsin-Madison "alumnus" (loosely speaking, along with a few other drop-outs including John Muir, Charles Lindbergh, Frank Lloyd Wright and Dick Cheney). [He writes humor, too.]
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