Dan Popp
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By Dan Popp
August 12, 2011

If nothing works, why don't we do that?

If there are an infinite number of alternate universes, surely this is the only one where Barney Frank and Chris Dodd are not in jail.

Sugar is the true miracle drug. How many people are cured with a simple sugar pill?

We have a word for "designed," but no word for "accidented." That's no accident. Words are simple information codes — much simpler than human DNA. And there will be no word to describe the unintentional generation of information until someone creates that word intentionally.

The more I deal with technology, the more I think the Amish may be on to something.

If the human race is so smart, why did it take us 7,000 years to invent the spork?

We've come to the uncomfortable spot on the road to Utopia where half the nation is shouting, "Stop taking my stuff from me!" and the other half is screaming, "Stop taking your stuff from me!"

There are five reasons to avoid lists when writing.

Just face it: No matter what you do, you're never going to be as famous as the Earl of Sandwich.

Join the crusade against quixotism!

With all due respect to greater Republican lights, "Are you better off now than you were 4 years ago?" is not the right question. The right question is: "Why would you give one man, much less a stranger, the power to make your life better or worse?" The Constitution certainly doesn't.

When did it become the "American Dream" to mooch off of other people?

Why would a Darwinist brake for anything?

President Obama has nearly made the whole country "shovel ready."

Self-flagellation is unnecessary; there are so many others willing to do the work.

If you're doing the right thing because you think it will "come back" to you, isn't that a kind of cosmic bribe?

My favorite key is the Forward Delete key. It's for erasing mistakes you haven't made yet.

Nothing could interest me less than the spectacle of beautiful, rich, talented people giving each other awards. Nothing, that is, except their opinions.

Winter is God's way of encouraging us to read more books. In summer He uses the TV schedule.

Tarring-and-feathering scoundrels is a great American tradition ripe for revival.

Optimists can never be pleasantly surprised. Isn't that sad?

Apparently there were no Scots on the committee that devised the international symbols for "Men's" and "Women's" restrooms.

If loving commas is wrong, I don't want to be, right.

When you get older, time flies whether you're having fun or not.

There may be no I in team, but it seems like there's always a U in screwup.

Self-delusion is the key component of all delusion. The willingness to believe that somehow, finally, the old rules of the universe have been transcended, drives much of our consumer culture. And all of the politics of the left.

Careful: It's a short step from lactose intolerance to lactose bigotry.

Knowledge is power, but ignorance is bliss. Most people prefer bliss.

If "a picture paints a thousand words," why is there narration in this movie?

Only in a culture of mediocrity and mass production could perfectionism be considered a flaw.

There is no right to do wrong.

© Dan Popp

 

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