Curtis Dahlgren
"A BEST EVER": Unapologetic elitists and other kleptomaniacs (part 2)
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By Curtis Dahlgren
November 24, 2008

THE OTHER NIGHT, from cares exempt,
I slept and what do you think I dreamt?
I dreamt that somehow I had come
To dwell in Topsy-Turveydom! -
Where vice is virtue virtue, vice:
Where nice is nasty nasty, nice:
Where right is wrong and wrong is right -
Where white is black and black is white.

    Sir William Gilbert (1836-1911)

WE "LIKED" IKE IN 1952. HOWEVER, we didn't go ga-ga over him (even though he came into office promising to get us out of a war). We certainly weren't preoccupied at that point with what the new President might name his puppy, or whether it was going to be a Yorkie-poo. Although the Vice-President obtained a pup named Checkers, the press wasn't yet dazzled by Mamie's pill-box hats, or "style" returning to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (dare I say White House?).

The nice thing about being an old-fogey is that you can remember some of those details. And it's nice to know that "anyone" but Goldwater can be elected President, with or without a birth certificate, but nice guys still finish last (the Goldwater Senate seat is now o-for-2). But if the Pravda-school journalists (who called President Bush the Shrub) think that they're helping to create a positive working environment for the President-elect by going ga-ga, it could back-fire on them.

The Green Bay Press-Gazette about a week ago had a one-inch headline on top of page one involving the 'much-anticipated' Obama puppy! This is supposed to bring the country together or what? Forgive me if I "ramble" today, but I've gone through a mind-boggling experience; it was called Election day [not to mention "trillions for tribute"].

SOME DAYS, ONE HAS TO GO TO THE COMIC STRIPS FOR RELIEF. "The Lockhorns" had a classic the other day in the funnies. "Mr. and MS." Lockhorn are sitting in "Dr. Blog's" waiting room, and the reading material on the table consists entirely of Forbes, Barrons, Money, and Investing, etc. (not exactly a good sign).

It would've been even funnier if it had been their lawyer's office. The way things are going, where the nasty people sue the nice people and win "big easy" bucks lawyers will soon be copying standard procedures of medical clinics:

After signing in and waiting 45 minutes or so, you will be told by the receptionist to go into this little room, lie down, and take out your wallet, as "the lawyer will be with you in a few moments" (and you fall asleep and have a nightmare before the lawyer gets around to you).

BUT SERIOUSLY folks, there are big bucks to be made in litigation, BIG bucks. Someone sued eHarmony.com an online dating service for "hate," because they weren't promoting same-sex dating. They had to apologize, change their policies, and pay some big bucks to the plaintiff. Welcome to Topsy-Turveydom!

I have a book entitled "Buy This Book or We'll Sue You." It chronicled infamous lawsuits such as the one in which a Franciscan nun was sued for recklessly bowling over an opponent in a softball game. Or the underaged smoker who was denied cigarettes at a C-store, and put his fist through the front door (he won $6,800 for his injuries). But the winner is: the other day I read a headline that said one lawyer accidently sued himself!

It's no wonder we have so many warning labels on our products today, such as:

- "Do not try to toast bread while in the bath tub."

- "The Surgeon General suggests that you not light these cigarettes in an oxygen chamber"

- "Do not burn down 1,000 California homes by using these matches to light a camp fire."

- "Don't even think about tearing the label off this mattress, but enjoy!"

I made some of those up, but do you know how bad things are getting in Topsy-Turveydom? I was looking at a Rain-X container the other day. That's a product that makes your car windshield repel water so you can see better in the rain. I couldn't make this one up, but the warning on the container actually says, "Use your windshield wipers when necessary"!

In other words, the manufacturer of Rain-X (the sole purpose for which is to help people see the road better) is afraid someone somewhere might have an auto accident and then blame Rain-X because he failed to turn on his windshield wipers!

A METAPHOR FOR CONSERVATIVE TALK RADIO


The reason talk show hosts have such large audiences is because they help people 'SEE' things more CLEARLY. YET someday soon they will probably be subpoened to testify before Congress to explain why they should not be banned from the "publicly-owned airways" because some idiot somewhere couldn't understand a joke and felt "hated" (NO JOKE the next President is going to be a lawyer!).

In the LaLaLand province of Topsy-Turveydom, sweet is bitter and the bitter is sweetness, dimness is bright and brightness is dim (but the ignorant and foolish are "intelligent" and "smart"). The USA Today (11/13/08) had a cartoon that asked, "Is there any TV program that Sarah Palin hasn't agreed to go on?"

The "punch" line was yes, it's "Are you smarter than a fifth-grader?" (because Sarah Palin is what the Brits call a "commoner" in the eyes of our "smart" journalists who write stories about puppies in the White House). Since when did the lowly scribes become Royalty?

According to a recent poll, even public officials flunk civics tests worse than the average citizen, and the "smart" Obama voters didn't even know that the Democrats controlled Congress the last two years. Or, I add, that the Dems had one-party rule in the House from 1958 until 1994. They may not even know what I mean by "House."

"A fine kettle of fish you got us into," Laurel and/or Hardy used to say. I'm a little foggy on my entertainment media, but I am totally aware of the news media's fishing expeditions (Joe the Plumber and Sarah Palin's garbage cans, etc.). You think that this year's election made intolerance and stereotyping a thing of the past? NOT.

THE BELTWAY VERSUS THE BIBLE BELT

How do we stereotype people? Let me count the ways: Doctors, lawyers, blondes, "church ladies," fundies, TV evangelists, talk show hosts, pro-lifers, people who get their hands dirty (rednecks), Okies, and anyone who studies history for any reason other than Trivial Pursuit games. If there were no purpose for learning both history and current events other than "rote memorization," I wouldn't study them either.

That part of our cultural history involving our religious heritage is now especially vulnerable to being silenced. "Stifle yourself," the Traditionalists are told by the Progressives (who hated it when Archie used to say that to Edith Bunker).

On the day before the election, the USA TODAY forum page had a headline that read: "An election that is, and isn't, about God." The sub-headline read:

"2008 is the year that Democrats found faith, in effect leveling the religious playing field. This doesn't mean every election from here forth will be faith-focused. In fact, religion's role in politics might just recede into the background" [which is what the MSM is hoping for, they could have added].

"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper," Francis Bacon said. Don't count on God just going away. The vast majority of Americans are dissatisfied with Darwinism and the "gay" political agenda. We "tolerated" [i.e., "put up with") homosexuality just fine until the radicals starting shoving it down the throats of our children! Even if they try, a revival of Clintonism isn't going to drive God underground or "into the background." Don't hit the snooze button just yet.

There's just too much of our culture that is rooted in the Judeo-Christian history for it to be totally forgotten, and there's a relationship between good people and good government. History also teaches us a lot about "bad" government and how it can make the people worse off, both morally and economically as relevant today as back in Nehemiah's generation (455 BC):

"We have mortgaged our lands, vineyards, and houses, that we might buy CORN, because of the dearth [and they weren't even making ethanol yet].

"There were also some who said, 'We borrowed money on our lands for the king's tribute, . . . so other men now have our real estate' [and gasoline wasn't $4 a gallon yet].

"And I was very angry when I heard their cry . . and I rebuked the nobles, and the rulers, and said unto them, 'You exact usury, every one of his brother . . We have redeemed our brethren the Jews [from Babylon], who were sold unto the heathen; and will you now sell your own brethren [children and grandkids]?' Then they held their peace, and had nothing to say in answer . . .

"Moreover from the time that I was appointed to be their governor in the land . . I never required [the taxes] of the governor, because their bondage was heavy upon the people. Think upon me, my God, for good, according to all that I have done for this people [cutting taxes]."

IF THERE ARE TWO AMERICAS, I think it's because half of the people take after Nehemiah and the other half take after King Rehoboam, Solomon's son, who forsook the counsel of the old men, and consulted with the young men who had grown up with him . . .

"And the young men said, ' . . Your father made the yoke heavy, [but tell the people] my father laid a heavy yoke upon you, but I will add to your yoke [taxes]; my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.'"

Now that's classical literature ("that's what scorpions do")! The result of Rehoboam's taxes, of course, was the revolt of the Ten northern tribes of Israel, who formed their own nation. Wars were actually fought between "Israel" and "Judah" on account of this split which was caused by excessive taxation.

There are parallels to both Nehemiah's time in usurious credit card interest imposed by banks that now want a hand-out from their tax-paying credit card holders(!) and in the direct taxation increases proposed by kleptomanic politicians in the 21st century (not unlike Rehoboam)!

As I said in my previous column, America's Founding Fathers believed in the sacredness of both property rights and Life itself. They "hoped" that we would avoid the mistakes of the past. I said that our Judeo-Christian roots were the source of human rights and "equality," but I meant equality of opportunity of course not necessarily equality of outcome!

When William Bradford switched the "Plymouth Plantation" from socialism (starvation) to a system based on individual initiative (with each family responsible for a plot of its own land), equality of harvest was dependent upon each family's diligence ("equity" and "equality" are not synonymous, if you get the point).

CONCLUSION

IF THERE ARE "TWO AMERICAS" TODAY, it's because half of the people want a hand-out (they're more like Rehoboam than Jeroboam or Jefferson who abolished all internal federal taxes. In his second Inaugural address, the patron saint of the "Democratic" party said:

"What farmer, what mechanic, what laborer ever sees a taxgatherer of the United States?"

And no, you can't make this stuff up, can you? All joking aside, though, he spoke about the press in the same speech:

"During the course of [my] administration, and in order to disturb it, the artillery of the press has been leveled against us, charges with whatsoever its licentiousness could devise or dare. These abuses of an institution so important to freedom and science are deeply to be regretted, inasmuch as they tend to lessen its usefulness and to sap its safety . . .

"[And] our wish as well as theirs is that the public efforts may be directed honestly to the public good, that peace be cultivated, civil and religious liberty unassailed, law and order preserved, equality of rights maintained, and that state of property, equal or unequal, which results to every man from his own industry or that of his father's . . . [be protected]

"I shall need, too, the favor of that Being in whose hands we are, who led our fathers, as Israel of old, from their native land and planted them in a country flowing with all the necessaries of life; who has covered our infancy with His providence and our riper years with His wisdom and power, and to whose goodness I ask you to join in supplications with me . . . "

MAYBE THERE ARE SOME LESSONS IN THOSE WORDS THERE FOR US TODAY.

P.S. Kudos for Sarah Palin's words (11/13/08) to the Republican governors about getting back to basic values. If I may add to those words a bit, the party of Lincoln bears a lot of resemblance to the Whig party of 1852, when it ran a former P.O.W. and tried to appeal to independents and middle-of-the-roaders by "distancing themselves" from abolitionists and those who opposed without compromise the spread of slavery into Kansas [as with the "What's the Matter With Kansas" book, Democrat President Buchanan couldn't figure out what the "big deal" was with Kansas].

The "big tent" Whig party had become a little too big, and the whole tent collapsed. The real conversion took place among northern Democrats, who joined in with the Railsplitters to form the Republican party by the time of the 1856 election. The Whigs went the way of the dinosaurs, because people grew tired of having politicians play mind games with them.

Both Democrats and former Whigs such as Abraham Lincoln got tired of living in Topsy-Turveydom, "where right is wrong and wrong is right."

Those are the two Americas: The Right America and the wrong America.

Don't touch that radio dial, because it is SO important to be allowed to "agree to disagree" no matter WHO is the President, or who's running Congress!
Don't touch the snooze button again!

While the Left is energized, the Right could be discouraged now, but the sons and daughters of the American Revolution hold the key to its future depending on how we react to the "first 100 days" of the next Administration. Our reaction may also depend on whether they try to overreach and pass a blitzkrieg of legislation in the middle of the nights before we even have time to organize a "reaction." The future is so unpredictable that we will need as much foresight as can be mustered.

That reminds me of a knock-knock joke (knock-knock):

"Who's there?"

"That depends. If this is the middle of the night, it could be the CSF Barack Obama's Civilian Security Force 'as well-funded as the military'!"

BY THE WAY, this column is not a fund-raising letter. I'm not making things up just to do a little fear-mongering. We already know more than we wanted to know about Obama (from his Marxist college professors to his explicit proposals for "change"). That change could be like the weather up here, either good or bad, depending on whether he meant what he said during the campaign (such as, his intent to virtually bankrupt the coal industry unbeknownst to most of those who voted for him).

The word-for-the-day, boys and girls, is "stereotype" a word that originally was a noun meaning a solid printing block of "type" (not yet cut with a letter on it, I take it). What will be Obama's imprint on the American Revolution? It could be okay, but it could also be very catastrophic. Without exaggeration, his Administration could be a cross between the French and Russian Revolutions, very dangerous for religion if it goes unopposed.

- They came for the Randy Weavers, but I didn't care; I didn't owe any back taxes.

- They came to Waco for the Davidians, but I didn't care; I wasn't a Davidian.

- They came for the Mormons, but I didn't care; I wasn't a Mormon.

- They came for Rush Limbaugh, but I didn't care; who needs men like that?

- They came for the evangelicals, because Rush wasn't there anymore to stick up for us!

IS THAT HOW THE STORY ENDS? I "HOPE" NOT.

"But, but Barack Obama's a church-going man, isn't he?"

Yes he is, and that's why I'm praying that God doesn't damn America, now that he's the President-elect.

CONCLUSION, PART II


I can say one thing for certain: I'm glad I'M not the President-elect. I'm not sure John McCain ever really wanted the job either, or that Obama ever expected to really win. Now that reality has dawned on the Democrats, maybe they'll have a "born-again" dose of common sense. The Lord works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform (sometimes).

If worse comes to worse, they can always blame everything of the Bushes. The last two years, the DNC (Do-nothing Congress) certainly acted as if they wanted a "crisis" that they could hang around President Bush's neck. Where I live, gasoline hit $4.20-some cents a gallon, and diesel fuel hit $5 a gallon. For those who like trivia, look up the price of crude oil per barrel before an Alaskan was nominated for Vice President, and where the price of crude is today. I hate to repeat myself repetitiously, but "investigative journalists" ought to be digging into how many DNC congresspersons are "invested" in crude oil "futures." The DNC gives every appearance of loving it when our gas prices approach European levels.

One favorite mantra of Obama supporters was, "We're the only industrialized country that doesn't have free medical care" as if we would want to emulate the Europeans of all people!

All these years I've lived (over 66 of them) I was under the impression that the American Revolution had made the United States special, exceptional, unique. But what would I know? I've never been to an Ivy League school or "law school."

I'm just a wood-cutter, but this week's column may be longer and more substantive, than Barack Obama's college dissertation (since we'll probably never know). BTW, my child-hood hero wasn't a lawyer; it was the wood-cutter who saved Little Red Riding Hood's grandma. I had two college scholarships (and partially used them), but I went beyond that academic garbage and I had a lot more fun climbing trees than I would have had being an economist or something.

Woodcutters are now hated of course, and in the modern version of Little Red Riding Hood, it's a psychiatrist who saves the wolf from the gun-packing Grandmother, and the wolf is given probation, counseling, and food stamps, so he never again has to break into houses when hungry. And Grandma is forced to go to a "hate crimes" re-Education camp (never to be seen again). But I'm sorry if I "ramble" -

I dreamt that somehow I had come
To dwell in Topsy-Turveydom! -
Where vice is virtue virtue, vice"
Where nice is nasty nasty, nice . . . [but I repeat myself, do I not?]


© Curtis Dahlgren

 

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Curtis Dahlgren

Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton... (more)

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