Don Cobb
The miracle
Life changing, mind altering, and completely free
By Don Cobb
February 22, 2009

Alcohol. Control issues. Drugs. Prescription medication. Pornography. Gambling. Lying. Stealing. Pretending. Acting. Bullying. Codepending. Gossiping. Cheating. Divorcing. Does that describe all Americans? Of course not. But does it describe a disturbing number of us? Yes, it does. Those issues occur in every family in America, some more so than others.

The American citizen today is a far cry from the American citizen of yesterday. Granted, the generation before ours (I'm a Baby Boomer) is responsible for leading us where we are today, but our generation, like every generation before us, took it to a whole, 'nother level. We are all victims of the sickness of our parents' generation, on steriods. That is, the generation that ruled with an iron fist, in families where children were second class citizens and parents saw no reason to practice rigorous honesty when it came to their kids, where the result of making mistakes, speaking inappropriately, not keeping our rooms clean, not doing our chores, etc. was to be yelled at and hit by those who we were supposed to trust, who, we were told, loved us more than anyone else ever would. It's clear that life for our parents' generation was even more harsh for them. They inherited, however, the notion that "family" is a dictatorship, and if children don't act right they get smacked. Not a whole lotta' lovin' goin' on in families such as these. Hence, the drug addicted, alcoholic, rebellious and self-centered generation called The Baby Boomers.

Oddly, many of us are stuck in the seventh grade. National politics? Seventh grade. How we handle our relationships? Seventh grade. Emotional maturity? Seventh grade. We appear to be a generation stuck in the seventh grade, collectively incapable of being honest with ourselves or anyone else much of the time. Lying, it seems, is acceptable to our generation as long as we don't get caught. That, friends, creates a huge part of a much larger problem. Incapable of managing our emotions in a healthy fashion, so incredibly self-centered that we take offense when none is intended, reading so much into what people say to us — particularly those closest to us — that we rarely really hear what's even being said, we have become the mind-reader generation. So full of ourselves that we even believe we know what people "really mean" when they speak to us, thinking harsh thoughts to ourselves rather than letting anyone know what we're really thinking, making mountains out of molehills as a way of life, incapable of just telling the truth on an ongoing basis, and we wonder why the world is so screwed up.

Naturally, none of this even matters until our life catches on fire in some noticeable way. Divorce isn't usually enough to wake us up. Alcoholism isn't even motivation enough, until it's literally or practically destroyed everything we love. Only then, it might get our attention. Losing a job almost never gives us any kind of wake-up call, as it's too easy to continue to believe that "they are all jerks" and "it's their loss" or "they don't even know what they had" when we're fired or when someone divorces us.

No, our generation is so horribly stuck, addicted to so many things it's impossible to count, including our opinions and the almighty Self, that nothing short of a complete and thorough disemboweling of our lives will get us to wake up, give up, grow up or man up. Ours is the generation that legalized killing our children, provided we kill them before they see daylight; the generation that decided that God is unnecessary, conveniently forgetting that He created everything and that without Him we wouldn't even be having a Life experience.

We tend to worship ourselves, women, drugs, homosexuality, recklessness, rebelliousness, dirt, Political Correctness, sex, money, cars, homes and most of all, it seems, our own opinions.

In this writer's observation, we are collectively, and worldwide, the sickest generation that ever walked the Earth, the biggest gluttons, whores and abusers this planet has ever seen. Left to our own devices, we will all become what I've described above, and that is what we've chosen, many of us, for the last 40 years: to be left to our own devices. Self-reliant, self-obsessed, self-centered, self-will run riot — it all adds up to self-destructive, and no one is willing to say anything to anyone else about it. Incapable, left to our own devices, of completely honest and loving conversation — at least when someone's feelings might be hurt or when confrontation is required. We don't want to have a feeling and we aren't willing to cause anyone else to have one either, lest we end up having one, too. We are the generation that is rebellious enough to just say it — whatever "it" is in a given moment — and yet are so codependent that we dare not say it.

It all boils down to emotional immaturity, which I believe is the result of not getting our own needs met growing up, and/or neglect, and/or abuse of one kind or another, including sexual abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse or physical abuse growing up. America is largely emotionally incapable of being honest with herself. That is why we continue to elect dishonest politicians to lead our towns, cities, counties, states and our nation. We are out of touch with Reality, easily fooled and/or manipulated, and because we stand for nothing in the way of ethics or morality, we fall for any thing, hook, line and sinker. Say it to us often enough and loudly enough, and we'll believe it, eventually.

Oh, I'm sure I'm not talking about you. Oh no, not you. But look around you. Look in your own household and in your biological family. I'm talking about them. The people you work with? Them, too. The people at DMV, at the grocery store, at the gas station? Yep. I mean many of them, too.

I know this might sound negative to you, and perhaps you don't agree with me about the state of our nation. It's true that I see the dead fruit of Liberalism walking around at my place of employment, men whose lives have been literally destroyed by the freedom which Liberalism encourages: Self-reliance, rejection of God/Jesus/religion, where worshipping almighty Self is revered and encouraged, and leaning on one's own understanding is a way of life. It's true that I see some of the worst cases of lives virtually destroyed, in my line of work.

But that's not what I use as my yardstick. I also see these men's lives transformed, from upside down to right-side up, relationships restored, hearts and minds changed in such profound ways that can only be described as miraculous. I'm also involved with the City Council in my city, many of the congregations, businesses, pastors, and city leaders, the public school system, law enforcement, judges, Parole and Probation officers, thousands of volunteers, friends, family, business associates, musicians — an entire community that I have lived in for my entire life. This move to selfishness and self worship, this faith and devotion to our own oftentimes unfounded opinions, and this abandonment of God in favor of Self is sadly evident in most arenas I'm involved in today. Not just political candidates, but everyday folks have bitten into the apple and now are busy trying to cover themselves up because they are naked. Some, as luck would have it, are not even doing that much (attend a parade in San Francisco, for example).

The Good News is that there is a solution with a very long history of success. I call it The Miracle, but while it appears to be a miracle, it's really not. It is an amazing way of life that brings the truth into view, enables us to rightly prioritize our lives, escape the trap of selfishness, and get ourselves and our communities — our very nation, even — right-side up again, healthy, vibrant and hopeful, dignified and experiencing the self-esteem that only comes with living a life of integrity. It certainly appears to be a miracle, and it's available for all who are interested in getting right with themselves, right with each other, and establish and develop a relationship with God that will amaze even the most stubborn atheist. I'll talk more about The Miracle next...

© Don Cobb


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Don Cobb

Don Cobb, RAS is an addiction recovery professional and serves as Executive Director for North Bay Recovery Services in Sonoma County, CA. Don recently published a book entitled 12 Steps: NOT For Dummies... (more)


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