Carey Roberts
Please, no neckties for Father's Day!
FacebookTwitter
By Carey Roberts
June 18, 2009

Can you imagine a Mother's Day ad urging the purchase of a vacuum cleaner for Workaholic Moms? Or a greeting card that depicts mom grinning contentedly over a hot stove?

These slightly irreverent images came to mind as I surveyed the advertisements for Father's Day this year.

Go to Amazon.com, for example, where you'll see a creative listing of gifts for Workaholic Dads. The featured item? An iRobot 560 Roomba vacuuming robot. Act now — it's available in black and silver!

What if housecleaning is not on this weekend's honey-do list? Then get him the Birmingham Executive 60-inch executive desk and a Boss B8601 Executive Leather chair. What better reminder for him to go into the office Sunday and catch up on that pile of tedious paperwork!

For Chef Dad, a cheery assortment of grills, cookware, and barbeque aprons greets us. For the hard-to-please father, how about the Chris & Chris Chef Kitchen work station? He'd love that, I'm sure.

Here's my personal favorite: the Eastman Outdoors Reveo MariVac food tumbler. The speed and timing controls will please the most demanding of fathers. And it's only $199 bucks. (Kids, I hope you're paying attention!)

Then there's the usual array of carpentry gifts and gadgets. About.com exhorts us to "Give a woodworking gift to your dad this Father's Day." Bar clamps, jigsaws, router kits, miter saws — or best of all, a band saw. Proudly plying his battery-interchangeable tools, just think of all the odd jobs that dad can knock out this weekend!

And then the greeting cards that send the none-too-subtle message: "Dad we love you, as long as you work, work, work!"

One Hallmark card depicts a dad stomping the daylights out of a gargantuan spider. The card recounts, "Fatherhood can be an icky job, But somebody's got to do it!" (Consider the counterpart card for Mother's Day: A picture of a frazzled woman sweeping a floor with the caption, "Motherhood can be yucky work, But somebody's got to do it!")

And for those dads who think Father's Day is about copping a little R and R, consider this greeting card message: "Take it easy, let the lawn go, and don't repair a thing! Just lie back on the couch and watch TV till you fall asleep!...You know, just treat it like any other Sunday afternoon!"

How's that for laying a guilt-trip on dad for his Special Day?

While we're on the topic of Father's Day, I do have a serious request: Please, no more neckties. My closet is brimming with a cacophony of appreciative neckware. Subdued, outrageous, plaid, checkered, wide, or narrow — you name it, I've got it.

And really, how many dudes come home from a long day at work, eagerly looking forward to slipping into a comfy necktie?

© Carey Roberts

 

The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of RenewAmerica or its affiliates.
(See RenewAmerica's publishing standards.)

Click to enlarge

Carey Roberts

Carey Roberts is an analyst and commentator on political correctness. His best-known work was an exposé on Marxism and radical feminism... (more)

More by this author

 

Stephen Stone
This holiday season: A message to all who love our country and want to help save it

Stephen Stone
The most egregious lies Evan McMullin and the media have told about Sen. Mike Lee

Siena Hoefling
Protect the Children: Update with VIDEO

Stephen Stone
FLASHBACK to 2020: Dems' fake claim that Trump and Utah congressional hopeful Burgess Owens want 'renewed nuclear testing' blows up when examined

Tom DeWeese
'Catching Fire News' videos for July 10, 2026

Rev. Mark H. Creech
Pastor Loran Livingston is wrong: America’s sins don’t prove she was never a Christian nation

Linda Kimball
Luciferians are desensitizing humans to accept the torture and eating of babies

Curtis Dahlgren
Who said "Never talk about politics or religion?" Maybe it's time to

Jerry Newcombe
Is there a 'spectre' haunting America?

Steve A. Stone
Stone & Jud, Episode 5

Dan Popp
Misreading the Sermon on the Mount

Pete Riehm
The excruciating passing of your grandfather's Democrat Party

Kari Lee Fournier
Almighty God vs. Satan: 'Our fight for freedom—it’s back!'

Tom DeWeese
America at 250: The remarkable story behind the first public reading of the Declaration

Cliff Kincaid
VIDEO: Impeach Justice Roberts

Rev. Mark H. Creech
America at 250: Will we keep what we have been given?
  More columns

Cartoons


Click for full cartoon
More cartoons

Columnists

Matt C. Abbott
Chris Adamo
Russ J. Alan
Bonnie Alba
Chuck Baldwin
Kevin J. Banet
J. Matt Barber
Fr. Tom Bartolomeo
. . .
[See more]

Sister sites