Cherie Zaslawsky
April Fools’ Day 2021
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By Cherie Zaslawsky
March 11, 2021

California’s roundly despised Governor Gavin Newsom, known locally as “Gruesome,” has to win the prize for the funniest April Fools’ joke ever: He’s opening Dodger Stadium on April first, at long last—by allowing a grand total of 100 fans to attend. LOL! Hysterical! And get this: they have to all be Californians—no tourists or out-of-state visitors allowed. Brilliant!! Can’t stop laughing!

Only one problem, Noisome Newsom isn’t joking.

From a March 3rd article in the Times of San Diego: “Outdoor sports — with fans — and live performances also will be allowed to resume April 1, subject to the following limitations: For counties in the strictest tier, purple, capacity will be limited to 100 people or fewer, and attendance will be regionally limited.“

Well, that’s encouraging. Now a hundred of us can cheer for our teams in person. At least these fans will all get the best seats. Question: will husbands and wives and/or kids have to sit six feet apart? Will the favored 100 be required to wear masks while out in the open air in sunny California? Oh, and wondering how much those tickets are going to be scalped for. Might make a good short-term investment…

“The Times said reopening of San Diego, Orange and Los Angeles counties depends, in part, on when California can give an additional 400,000 vaccinations to people living in the state’s lowest-income areas, which will trigger a broad relaxation of the opening criteria.” Hmmm…am I missing something here? How are these low-income folks going to afford what are likely to be $10,000-$100,000 baseball tickets? Welfare?

California’s Version of a Color Revolution

You’ve probably heard of Color Revolutions by now—the largely Soros-funded false-flag uprisings instigated to take down legitimate regimes and replace them with globalist-friendly ones. You know, like the one we had recently in our nation’s Capitol. Well in California—a fiefdom all its own—we don’t need a Color Revolution; we have Color Tiers instead. What are they? They’re Newsom’s diktats with which he micromanages the destruction of the Golden State. You see, by continuing to milk the Plandemic psy-op long past its due date, Gavin simply makes up out of whole cloth the “New Normal” rules for every aspect of our lives under one of the most oppressive totalitarian regimes the world has ever seen.

Why would he do that? To position himself for a possible run for president, of course! What? You don’t think he’d get the necessary votes? In that case, I’ve got a crooked, senile, 78-year-old political hack to sell you. Wait—he’s already been bought and paid for, and is sitting in the Oval Office even as we speak. Make that the Oval Basement.

Back to Newsom and his draconian mandate for the good people of California: “Starting April 1, amusement parks will be eligible to reopen — but with limited capacity — in red tier counties. “Capacity will be limited to 15% for parks in the red tier; the cap rises to 25% once a county progresses to the orange tier and 35% upon reaching the most lenient tier, yellow,” according to the Los Angeles Times.

Thanks, Gavin. You gonna open up the exorbitantly pricey French Laundry to the general public now? Oh, right—that’s for you and your lobbyist pals. My bad.

Notice that since we’ve been good little boys and girls, having given up our quality of life and our liberty for a year, worn the hated muzzles, and kept our distance from other human beings, Gavin will reward us by allowing us to reclaim 35% of normal social life. Tops. That’s Governor Nuisance’s New Normal. That’s the “most lenient” tier. No wonder people are leaving California in droves. I can almost hear the stay-behinds clamoring, “Governor Newsom, Tear down this Tier!”

The Making of a Social-Engineering Totalitarian

How did Newsom became such a genius at social engineering? He started his career by opening the PlumpJack wine shop in San Francisco in 1992. Well, not too hard to create a successful wine store in California when your aunt, by marriage at the time, was Nancy Pelosi, and your business partner/prime investor was billionaire Gordon Getty.

A few years later, San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown—the man we can also thank for giving Kamala Harris a leg up in her political career, appointed Gavin to serve on the city’s Parking and Traffic Commission. With his proverbial foot in the door, in only 2 years’ time, Newsom was on the Board of Supervisors and by 2003 became the youngest mayor in San Francisco’s history. In a short seven years, then, Neophyte Newsom went from being a Willie Brown protégé dealing with parking regulations, to becoming the Mayor of the City by the Bay, the destruction of which he successfully accomplished from 2003 to 2011. I also recently learned that Newsom, like Jerry Brown before him, went to a Jesuit college. Must be something in the water…

Another interesting tidbit: Remember how the Dems and the MSM—but I repeat myself—hollered about Trump’s supposed “conflicts of interest” over his hotels, and cited the “emoluments clause” when the Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin briefly stayed in the Trump hotel in D.C.? Well, Newsweek reports that during the Covid lockdowns which the Guv himself tyrannically imposed on Californians, Gavin’s own PlumpJack companies received…wait for it…$3 million in Covid Relief loans. Hmmm…. I guess there’s nothing to see here. Just as there was nothing to see when our Governor sent a billion dollars of our taxpayer monies to Communist China in what even the L.A. Times called a secretive “murky” deal—for, um…face masks. Millions of California voters, however, may keep these things in mind once we’ve successfully recalled Newsom and can vote in a Conservative Republican to take his place.

As luck would have it, we got wind of Gavin’s April Fools’ prank early. Now I’m just waiting for QAnon’s next prediction of a “BOOM!” that proves the patriots are in control and Trump is about to reclaim the White House…on April first.

© Cherie Zaslawsky

 

The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of RenewAmerica or its affiliates.
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Cherie Zaslawsky

Cherie Zaslawsky is a writer, freelance editor, and private educator/teacher/writing coach for high school students, as well as a confirmed Constitutionalist who nevertheless lives in California. Her work appears in Renew America, Lew Rockwell, American Thinker, Canada Free Press, WND, The Published Reporter, and more.

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