Curtis Dahlgren
"Make a Liberal Laugh Someday Month" continues, sort of
By Curtis Dahlgren
July 19, 2018

TRUE STORY: Four frat boys from Harvard decided to take a spin through the back country of western Massachusetts and have a few yuks at the expense of the bitter clingers, along with a few bottles of fine wine. The sun was going down, so they decided to back track, but made a wrong left turn and got lost. This was before GPS. They came upon a fahm house close to the road. The fah-mer was sitting on the front porch drinking a beer. The scholars stopped and hollered, "Hey, can we take this road here to Bahs-ton?" And the fah-mer sez:

"I don't care." And they said: No, dummy. We're asking if this road goes to Bahs-ton. And he says:

"Wal, I've lived here all my life and it ain't never gone no place yet." They said, "No no! [eyes rolling] We want to know if we can take this road to Hah-vahd!" And he says:

"I suppose you can if you want to, but they've got plenty of roads there already."

CONFESSION: this story is only half true. To the blue-bloods, the moral of the story was that rural Americans are hopelessly deplorable, stuck in the 20s (the 1820s). That part is true. But seriously, "folks," a poll in the 7/4/18 USA TODAY said that Democrats are proud to be Americans. The vote was 61 to 24 percent. And only 22 percent are proud of America right now! They aren't even very proud of their own mainstream news media:

By a ratio of 5 to 3, Democrats say the media are more interested in making money than in telling the truth. And 71 percent of ALL Americans feel "fatigued" by watching what passes for news now. I worry about that.

The New York Times should change its slogan to "If you want TRUTH, put on a pair of yoga pants and look at your rear end in the mirror" (or, "If the shoe fits, wear it")? "Have we reached the stomach-turning point yet," columnist Jenkin Lloyd-Jones used to ask. Last month was June Dairy Month and July is going to become "Make a Liberal Merry Month." Someday. The Left worries too much, and about the wrong things.

By the way, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump really had the press "going" the other day. They had the press suckered like the farmer playing cat and mouse with the frat boys. Putin could hardly keep a straight face, and the press still doesn't realize that the (egg) "yoke" is on their own face. Which reminds me of another joke:

The Harvard Crimson recently reported rumors of a kangaroo sighting on campus. It turned out to be an absent-minded professor with his shoe laces tied together. Speaking of crimson, Lefties can't even blush anymore, let alone laugh.


Down through history, some people have entertained real angels and didn't know it. The same thing goes for "the other side of the spiritual mountain," which explains a lot about our mass shootings. Liberal, secular, humanized "Progressivism" encourages the Dark Side both directly and indirectly – by reporting "news" in a depressing manner, for example. The Political Correctness is driving some people to drink and drugs. In her 2011 book "DEMONIC; how the liberal mob is endangering America," Ann Coulter said:

"In the world of the liberal, as in the world of Robespierre, there are no crimes, only criminals [the opposition] . . . The same mob mentality that leads otherwise law-abiding people to hurl rocks at cops also leads otherwise intelligent people to refuse to believe anything they haven't heard on NPR [or CNN, etc.} . . "

That's what is frustrating; common people "get" it. You can tell a highly educated person though (because you can't tell them anything). Professors always seem to think they're the smartest person in the room. Einstein's. Churchill's. Mine. I'm only being partly facetious. I was playing Abraham Lincoln at the county fair last week and, among other "sights," saw a great tee shirt that said:

"I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you."

Reminded me of another shirt I saw once. It said, "I'M NOT ARGUING. I'M JUST EXPLAINING IT BETTER." SO WHAT'S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND? This country has enough real bad news without "inventing" some that never happened. Conclusion: Accept defeat if you get beat, then repeat.

P.S. The Left claims that the Finland summit and news conference was a disaster – shades of Iceland in the 1980s (the first Gipper-Gorby summit). The news people made Reagan out to be the fool, but Ronnie had the last laugh. They never got his jokes either ("The bombing starts in five minutes"). Here is a typical headline I've seen this morning:

"The likeliest explanation for Trump's Helsinki Fiasco." I believe that was by Jonah Goldberg, who used to be a smart guy. History repeats. The country club Republicans hated Reagan. Now we have a country club owner as GOP President, and he's still hated! The country club political consultants aren't exactly doing themselves proud. Trump knows that nothing HE says will ever make the pond scum of the Deep Swamp like him, and he doesn't care. In fact, the more it attacks our duly elected President, the more they confirm the existence of the Deep Swamp (especially at Foggy Bottom).

PPS: I probably didn't make a liberal laugh today, but there are 31 days in "Make a Liberal Laugh Someday Month."

© Curtis Dahlgren


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Curtis Dahlgren

Curtis Dahlgren is semi-retired in southern Wisconsin, and is the author of "Massey-Harris 101." His career has had some rough similarities to one of his favorite writers, Ferrar Fenton... (more)


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